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So I'm watching my parents two chihuahuas for the next few days and these little dogs are going apeshiit crazy. The tan one I'm pretty sure has dementia because he's constantly screaming and just shits everywhere and lies on the floor. The black one won't stop shaking and grawing on his balls. What the hell do in do to calm these dogs down?
>>
Uhh... That's normal for Chihuahuas. Have fun watching them!
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Is that one on the left lying in it's own shit? Pig disgusting.
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Yeah but now the little black one is shitting too
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It all started last night when I brought them home. They fucking freaked out in the car when I stopped them from fucking each other in the front passenger seat of my car. They're both male. Then the tan one went bezerk cause I stopped him from trying to fuck the black one again.
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I mean like really bezerk. See image below. I don't like chihuahuas.
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Fuck these dogs
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>>2306578
homophobe
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I think I figured out why they're shitting so much: could they have been fucking each other so frequently that it caused them to have anal prolapses?
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The tan one seems to spasm much more than the black one. I think he's the dominant one in this gay chihuahua couple who's most angry that I'm preventing them from fucking.
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Do you not talk to your parents? Wouldn't it make more sense to ask them these questions, since they're their dogs?
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>>2306571
Nah. I had chihuahuas during my whole childhood and they didn't behave like that. The whole stereotype about chihuahuas being aggressive, antisocial etc. comes from idiots who have no idea of how to handle their dogs
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>>2306605
Yeah I talked to them a few minutes ago. My dads response was "let them fuck." They had no idea if the shitting and shaking was caused by.

So I guess that's what needs to happen. Meanwhile the little black one is now spazzing out too.
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Oh yeah and the black ones balls are all inflamed. Probably from all the gay fucking.
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>>2306612
>>2306613
It sounds like a) your parents didn't even attempt to train them and b) they're kept almost strictly indoors, probably with no contact with any other dogs or people besides your parents
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>>2306613
Sounds like doggy OCD, the chewing. They're extremely stressed out. Do you know if they act like this when they're at your parents house?
There wasn't anything you can do for them unless you can get your parents to work with them or bring them to a vet for some doggy Xanax.
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>>2306622

Yeah we're bringing them to a vet in a few minutes. I'm not equipped to deal with two horny and psychotic 4 pound dogs.
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>>2306628
OH MY FUCKING GOD I AM LOSING IT SOMEONE PLEASE SCREENCAP
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>>2306632
I'll post more pics of what these crazy little freaks are doing in a few minutes once they stop fucking each other
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10/10, best thread on /an/ in weeks. The demonic, glowing eyes in the berserk pics really tie it all together
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>>2306628
>Bringing them to a vet
>Even though they aren't your dogs

This isn't wrong but I did not expect this at all. Good on you, OP. The ball chewer might at least get a cone of shame. How old are they? Since you only have them for a few days maybe the vet has some sort of papers they can give you to give to your parents about how to curve their shitty behaviors.
>>
GODFUCKING DAMNIT THE VET WAS CLOSED.

now these two angry gay dogs are going apeshit again on the floor of my car. I'm parked in an A&P parking lot hoping it will pass soon. I had to get out of the car to take a break. These two dogs are going to drive me insane.
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FUCK THIS SHIT
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FUCK THESE DOGS.
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>>2306684
I'm saving this as a reaction image
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FUCK EVERYTHING
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>>2306685
I seriously don't know how you manage to make them look so hilariously angry in those pictures
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FUCK MY LIFE
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FUCK IT ALL TO HELL
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GO AHEAD AND KEEP FUCKING EACH OTHER IN YOUR STUPID DOG ASSES YOU CRAZY GAY DOGS
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We are witnessing the birth of a meme.

Seriously, we'll be seeing this dog years from now.
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>>2306585
>could they have been fucking each other so frequently that it caused them to have anal prolapses?
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>>2306698
>>2306632
Screen capping. I'm on mobile.
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Is OP still alive?

I can't fucking take this, I'm dying over here
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Yeah I'm alive. I parked the car and locked these two crazy fucking animals in the car. They're shitting all over my seats right now. The inside of my car is ruined forever. The dogs snarl at me whenever I get close to the window. I may call 911 soon.
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OP, there's only one option, you're going to have to neuter these shits yourself. Chopping their balls will calm them down and stop the from fucking each other. The shitting, I'm not sure
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>>2306698
>>2306632
Original screencap too big, 1/2
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>>2306722
2/2. I'll try to keep screen capping, but I have to go in a bit.
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>>2306720
>A PAIR OF ANGRY CHIHUAHUAS HIJACKED MY CAR PLEASE GET HELP
>>
I'm fucking shaking typing this update.... I think i have a plan. I'm going to go inside the supermarket and buy thick rubber gloves so I can drive the car without worrying about them biting my fingers off. I also need to buy rubber bands to wrap around their muzzles to keep them from biting each other, biting me, or biting their own balls. The rubber bands might not be humane it's they're a temporary stop gap measure. It's been a rough night but if I can get them home safely and into a caged environment then I'll be ok until I can get them to a vet in the morning. Fingers crossed. This lunacy needs to end.
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>>2306726
chihuahuas sure are some fierce beasts man
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Ok I'm back in the car. It reeks of dog shit and dog sex in here but at least they're not attacking me. They're just looking at me like I'm the problem here.

IM NOT THE FUCKING PROBLEM HERE YOU RABID HORNY RAT DOGS. YOURE THE FUCKING PROBLEM YOURE THE LITTLE RATS THAT HAVE BEEN FUCKING FIGHTING AND SHITTING ALL OVER THE INSIDE OF MY 2011 HONDA ACCORD. IM STILL MAKING CAR PAYMENTS ON THIS GODDAMNED CAR. FUCK YOU YOU LITTLE FUCKS.
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>>2306740
I AM CHOKING
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>>2306740
the more I read about your dogs, the more I feel like you've got a pair of fluffys
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>>2306748
>fluffys
FUCKING FLUFFY ANON ANIMAL ABUSING PIECE OF SHIT GET THE FUCK OUT OF /an/ YOU DEGENERATE PIECE OF SHIT TO HELL YOU GO
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>>2306750
calm down I don't like that autistic piece of crap either
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>>2306751
Oh, Thanks god. I thought you came from the unforgiving deserts of fluffy threads on /b/ to here
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Leave them alone you faggot.
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>>2306755

Oh I'm giving them a very wide fucking berth right now don't you worry about that. They seem to have calmed down a bit now and don't seem angry. The rubber band idea was just me panicking and definitely won't be necessary.
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>>2306724
3/2
>>
>>2306578
>>2306581
[autistic screeching]
>>
So it turns out that doing a shitty job of raising two chihuahuas is going to cost my parents their vacation. I called them up and demanded they return home to deal with these two fucking dogs. It got bad again when I tried to get them inside the house... like real fucking bad.
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>>2306812
Go on, anon.
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At first they seemed calm. Even let me put their harnesses back on.
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All normal and stuff
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Well at least as normal as these two dogs can be anyway
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Then the tan one gets nervous for no goddamned reason at all
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And he goes apeshit crazy again and fucking lunges at me
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And suddenly this gay chihuahua is the goddamned devil incarnate taking out his psychotic chihuahua gayness out on me
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Judging by the pics I think OP and his parents need to invest in a priest, not a vet, at this point. Dogs sound possessed.
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I'll never be a normal person again after this.
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Never
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Thank god i got my hand up in time or this little fucker would've eaten off my face.
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>>2306815
>>2306818
>>2306819
>>2306820
>>2306821
I like how the red glow on their eyes gets gradually brighter over the picture
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So they're going to sleep in the car tonight. I'll leave the engine on so they have heat. My wife won't let me bring them inside our house.
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FUCK THESE CARNIVOROUS QUEER CREATURES. YOU LITTLE FUCKS ARE AN ABBERATION TO GOD.
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JUST. FUCK. OFF.
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>>2306685
>>2306687
>>2306689
>>2306693

Laughing my FUCKING A' O'

God damn, this whole situation is hilarious.
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>>2306560
In all seriousness though, I don't want to come off as rude, but I don't want to pull my punches either. Your parents are probably really shitty owners. Probably never let them out of the house or gave them exercise. Probably haven't been watching their diets, probably don't get any real exercise, probably neglect them to the point where I'd personally get pissed if I saw them IRL (which is why the two dogs are so "inseparable"; ie. the other dog is the only company they have), they're old, so it's hard to rehabilitate them, and they're not even neutered, so they're going to be highly temperamental.

Imagine this. Dogs and humans aren't identical psychological counterparts, but they have feelings and emotions like any other higher-functioning life form on Earth. So imagine being kept in a small mansion, where feeding times are inconsistent and irregular, your only roommates are your two masters and a dog, the two masters who occasionally beat or humiliate you (simply because they either don't understand you, or because they think they're not doing anything "wrong"), and the dog who you kinda-sorta hate, but you put up with him anyway, because he's the only other dog in the house; also, you're now his fuck-bitch, you've never met ANY other soul in the entire world that you can connect with, and there's literally FUCK all to do. All you do is sleep, eat, try to avoid everyone else, or try to get some attention from your owners by eating your own shit and barking really loudly, which usually causes them to get angry at you, and avoid getting dominate-fucked by a dog that'd likely be the prison equivalent of "Crazy Bob", who's locked up here in prison with you because he was caught trying to bite a baby.

Sorry for the long rant. Didn't even bother to check punctuation and spelling errors. Just super proxy-pissed at bad dog owners who treat their dog like shit. If your dog isn't well adjusted, he's going to be a piece of shit. JUST LIKE HUMANS.
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>>2306848
Thanks for the advice man. I'm just really bummed out by the whole situation right now but once my parents get back I'm going back to have a serious discussion about these dogs being turned over to a small breed rescue for rehabilitation and hopefully rehoming to an attentive household. If these two creatures keep living where they are one of them is going to rip the others throats out during one of their wild love making sessions.
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>>2306818
>screams internally
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0 fuq na
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Good god my sides. Good thread op
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I'm having dog problems too.
I'm watching my mom's dog and the bitch took a shit in her room, pissed and vomited in the carpet.

What do i do?
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>>2306963
clean it up?
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>>2306830
be careful about the exhaust gas anon
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Song woke up this morning and go out to the car to make sure these little rate fucks aren't raping each other to death again and the tan one just takes one goddamned look at me and I went back inside to have a cup of coffee and collect my thoughts.

FUCK YOU RAT FUCK DOG FACE
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I feel somewhat bad for the small black one since his role in this is primarily that of a rape victim so I ended up bringing him inside against my wife's recommendation.

Look at this little weirdo fuck just sitting there straight as an arrow looking all proper and shit. He's just quietly trembling now. God only knows what's he's seen and participated in. Every night his tiny dog anus being penetrated by a crazy larger chihuahua.
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>>2307046
FUCK YOU ANON I AM LITERALLY SCREENCAPPING AND DYING MY ASS OFF
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>>2307046
He's seen some shit
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>>2307051
No FUCK YOU. Unless you happen to work for a car insurance company and can tell me if auto insurance will reimburse me for two rabid gay chihuahuas fucking each other silly in the passenger seat of my car and getting dog shit, dog piss, dog fur, and dog semen all over the interior of my 2011 Honda Accord. These fucking rat dogs were literally strangle fucking each other in my car. My car smells like a goddamned abattoir.
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>>2306560
>>2306578
>>2306592
>>2306613
>>2307046
My god, the black one looks absolutely pitiful. As for the tan one, I never realized chihuahuas can be so terrifying
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Damn, I guess this is what happens when you fuck up raising a dog.
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Did you take them to the vet?
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Holy shit, this thread cracked me up.
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>>2307206
No my parents came home early from their vacation and took the two "dogs" home. The nightmare is over.
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>>2307226

Good thing your parents didn't raise you half as badly as they raised those dogs. Seriously, what the fuck?
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>>2307226

With how these dogs are I am proud you are functional anon and not screeching while throwing your shit against the wall.
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Not a full cap
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>>2307249
Yeah I'm doing pretty well considering the fact that there's probably chihuahua semen inside the air vents on my car.
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>>2307255
Just go get the poor thing cleaned.
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>>2307255

Also why are you still making payments on an '11 Accord?
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>>2307259
I bought it used for $15k and financed it.
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>>2307260

OH shit, did you finance it without collateral, so your financing is like $25k?
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>>2307261
Look it wasn't my best financial decision, OK? Mistakes were made.
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>>2307262

You're right, but at least you learnt from it. Could've been a lot worse.
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>>2307267
Yeah for example I could've spent thousands of dollars on two pure bred chihuahuas and the fail to raise them properly.
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>>2307271
Ha. I get it. That's what your parents did.
>>
OP adopted Ren and Stimpy
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>>2307271
Looks like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, then.
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>>2307287

at least he doesnt have to worry about his Accord fucking his wife's car
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>>2306815
maybe the flash is irritating them, and making them more violent.

(but keep on, anon, this is hilarious)
>>2306560
>>
Are you still gonna talk to your parents about this?
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>>2307330
Yeah we had a long talk and I pretty much told them I don't want to hear from them until they've either invested time in getting the dogs trained or turned them over to a rescue who can give them a proper home.
>>
>>2307287
>>2307271

B T F O
T
F
O
>>
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>this fucking thread


OP tell your parents to neuter their dogs.
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>>2307294
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This shit is sad OP. Shitty owners like your parents are the reason people think Chihuahuas are all aggressive or neurotic.
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>>2307337

/pol/ here, just kill the little faggots
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>>2307058

>these fucking rat dogs

lmao
>>
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i usually dont visit /an/ but i just HAD to see this.

OP, thanks for that. the thought of the tan one raping the other one like for years on end now, everytime he gets angry or horny, is insanely funny to me. im laughing since a few minutes now and just looking at whatever dog pic there is you posted makes me laugh more.

this is fucking amazing.

can you please take a video of the tan one raping the black one and post it here? im sure a lot of people would find it really amusing.
>>
>>2307369
Every time the angry fucking started I tried to break it up so sorry I don't have a video to post for your amusement....

But it's pretty much what you can imagine. The tan one would get a raging hard on then mounted the black one and would bite his ears and neck when he tried to squirm away. The screaming was rough. So yeah I needed to break that shit up as much as I could.

Also, I'm sure that if you were getting raped in the wheel well of a Honda Accord you wouldn't want it posted online too.
>>
Didnt know they were making a live action Ren and Stimpy movie
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>this entire FUCKING thread
>anal prolapse causing uncontrolled shitting
>the close-up shots of the poops
>inflamed balls
>that devil eyed chihuahua
thank you op
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>>2307377
>Also, I'm sure that if you were getting raped in the wheel well of a Honda Accord you wouldn't want it posted online too.

thats true but dogs dont have a right to privacy

and cmon admit it its really fucking hilarious. not only the fact that they are literally just shitting on the floor like its something absolutely normal, but also that the black one apparantely got raped for a long time and your parents just said
>oh, our dog is getting raped into his asshole again, welp, we cant really do anything about it i guess, sucks for him.
that whole scenario is incredibly comedic
>>
>>2307383
My wife still won't talk to me. I spent the last 8 hours unsuccessfully trying to clean chihuahua shit stains off our basement carpet. I have a car that's borderline inoperable due to the stench inside of it. Maybe in the coming months I'll look back and laugh, but today I'm just fucking pissed. FUCK THOSE DOGS.
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>>2307389
where are they now?
>my wife wont talk to me because i didnt agree to watch as a dog gets raped to death by another dog in my car

what`?
>>
>>2307397
OP's parents came back early and got them
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>>2307397
She didn't want them in the house. She's never liked the two dogs.
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>>2307278
Underrated post
>>
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>>2307366
Someone's doing the raping.
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>>2307389

In all seriousness:

>empty spray bottle
>1/2 rubbing alcohol
>1/2 water
> essential oil to cover shit stench

Mix alcohol and oil in bottle, shake, add water, spray anywhere the little demons shit, blot up with towel. Used this when mother's greyhound rolled its own head up in car window and projectile fear-shat all over car. It's not as good a professional cleaning, but it'll work in a pinch.
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>>2307434
>when mother's greyhound rolled its own head up in car window and projectile fear-shat all over car.
>>
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Still collecting myself after having a few drinks to steady my nerves. The unbridled lunacy of it. Watching this crazed chihuahua roll around on the floor like he's on fire and shoot shit out of its asshole while the small black one tries to scurry away from the rape that this poop seizure apparently foretells.
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At one point he actually reared up and stood on his own hind legs as if to announce that only he would be raping that black dog and no one else was allowed.
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Then he lunged in to begin the assault on the black ones tiny battered rectum and I needed to intervene.
>>
why don't you just fucking cook them already
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>>2307488
>>
>>2307447

Yep. This was when automatic windows were still fairly new.

>greyhound new from rescue in front passenger's seat
>mother in driver's seat
>greyhound steps on button
>window rolls up
>scares greyhound
>greyhound projectile shits all over car and mother

Loved that dog.
>>
>>2307494
Fucking brilliant
>>
Holy shit man this is disgusting. They didn't even house train them? There's fucking shit EVERYWHERE
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>>2307389
I still don't understand how retarded you are to let these 2 evil creatures inside your car that you apparently like.

Why not just put them in a fucking cage or something ? Or better, 1 cage each, not that it would kill them for a day or two until your parents are back.

You're not very good at handling stressful situations aren't you ?

I mean, come on. In your fucking car. The more I think about it, the more I can't fucking understand why you had to leave them there of all places...
>>
I haven't laughed this hard in years. thanks.
>>
Imagine your parents chilling in front of the tv while the there's a dog rape session going on beside them.
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thread
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Satanic gay rabid chihuahuas. Not even once.
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>>2306560
My chihuahua.
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>>2306823
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>>2307543
But honestly he's the best behaved dog I've ever handled. This is him psyching himself up to bark on command. Little nugget knows tons of tricks. It's not the breed OP.
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>>2306560
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So I asked my sister to check in on the dogs at my parents house. She sends me this picture so apparently things are pretty much the same over there. More screaming and shitting.
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More Chihuahua shit on the rug. I'm amazed these little fucks have any shit left to excrete.
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God. Such anger. Such hate.
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>>2307485
>>2307488
>>2307490
>>2307494

these put me over the edge, i literally couldnt breathe and had to compose myself or i wouldve died
>>
>>2307552
It's pretty simple you have to treat a chihuahua like any other dog and discipline them. People don't cause it's no great tragedy if you're bitten by one, but they don't realize that having a dog that anxious and impulsive hurts the dog too.
>>
>>2307554
Please make sure those dogs don't stay with your parents, do it soon please, imagine being raped over and over every day? Both dogs are really unhappy and I'm sorry for your car
>>
someone screencap
>>
>>2306585
lost
>>
Tell your parents off for being such bad pet owners
>>
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>>2306836
*autistic borking*
>>
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>>2307517
Look if you had this jabberwocky rapist chihuahua in your car brooding over its helpless fuck toy you wouldn't bring it in your house either
>>
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I mean the way the tan one looked at the black one as if to say "you already know what's happening tonight so just accept it" is downright startling.
>>
>>2307756
>one in the light
>one in the dark
>this was the last time they spoke as friends
>>
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So protective of the small black one. So angry and possessive.
>>
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The unbridled anger... the way it looms over the other one...
>>
>>2307760
Just admit it you sick fuck, you're enjoying this now, aren't you?

We are too.
>>
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Look at him thrusting his chihuahua ass in the black ones face for the other one to behold
>>
>>2307553
oh god, ninth-circle-of-hell liquid diarrhea dog shits
just when I thought things couldn't get any worse
>>
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He just launches himself into the air in horny rage
>>
>>2306585
Dogs actually slightly prolapse their Anusara every time they shit so that it slides out and doesn't get caught in the fur.
>>
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Then he slams his dirty shit covered chihuahua ass and balls into the muzzle of the other one
>>
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The black small one is going to need some sort of support group. There's no way he's right in the head any more. He probably spends his days thinking "I DESERVE THIS" over and over...
>>
>>2307761
OK, yes, I am. The humor here is too great to pass by.
>>
>>2306823
Looks like Ren Hoek
>>
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>>2306578
>>2306579
>>2306581
God, I love animals so much, but fuck chihuahuas. I hate those abominations of nature from the bottom of my heart.
Just put them out of their misery already. A quick snap of the neck is all it would take.
>>
>>2306748
I'm glad I'm not the only one. I didn't know an animal so fucking annoying actually existed in real life.
>>
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I cant be the only one who has done this
>>
10/10 thread
>>
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Got an email from my dad a few minutes ago:

"We just bought a cage for Bruce. He seems to be getting used to it. We're thinking about rehoming them to a rescue. Should we tell the people that Bruce and Coltrane are a bonded pair?"
>>
>>2307815
jesus fucking christ this is amazing
hands down the best thread in /an/ history
>>
>>2307547
Hey i think i recognize that frame, what anime is this from?
>>
>>2307819
Dagashi Kashi
>>
>>2307815
>a bonded pair

My sides
>>
Oh god, i'm almost shitting myself here.
>>
>>2307824
so are the dogs
>>
>>2307824
Were you butt-raped too?
>>
nigga
>>
>>2307815
>Should we tell the people that Bruce and Coltrane are a bonded pair?
>>
>>2307815

>seems to be getting used to it
>>
I've had chihuahuas my entire life and I've never seen any be this absolutely batshit insane lmao

good luck op at least you're trying.
>>
>>2307803
damn that's tedious, download bulk image downloader
>>
>>2307902
Im surprised there isn't a chrome extension which downloads them all/opens all at once
>>
>>2307903
actually there is but I don't use chrome because the tab management add-ons are shit
>>
>>2306748
what the fuck is a fluffy
>>
>>2307815
Bonded pair? More like bondaged pair
>>
is OP still here?
whats happening to them now?
what do the parents think of the rapings? do they find it funny or do they not approve them?
>>
>>2307909
Those extra furry pony torture comics
>>
>>2307923
please stop

i used to be addicted to writing stories about that stuff but i've been clean for 2 years
>>
>>2307924
the legend should return to make one more xtra furry pony tortuse comic
>>
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>>2307918
My dads initial opinion was that "this is nothing a good cold bath can't fix". I think he's starting to reconsider that opinion after the tan one went apeshit again when doused with water.

I have formulated an opinion on the constant shitting. Is it possible that the piston action inside their abuses incurred by the non stop chihuahua rape created a vacuum in their bowels that's causing this projectile shitting? Similar to how one uses a plunger to create suction and dislodge a clogged toilet?
>>
i feel so bad for the black one, but i also find it kind of hilarious.

hes nothing but a shell of his former self.
i mean this may sound funny, but actually that was a living being that got raped so hard it basically decided to shut off its brain and just stop resisting.
look at it, its fucking done for, forever.

imagine if that shit happens to a human. some poor dude gets raped every day and others just stand by and laugh, nobody does anything, and this shit goes on for years. some small 2-men cell in a federal prison, and you share it with an absulte lunatic who snaps every other moment and just rapes you. and you cant do anything, so you decide to stop thinking, stop resisting, stop being an indicidual. just keep living because youre not capable of suicide, and you dont even really care about it anymore, because you literally shut off your brain as a defense mechanism.

this i basically what happened to this dog.
it isnt funny, its fucking depressing and sad.
>>
>>2307924
huu huu pwease nu wite hewties stowies nice mista
>>
>>2307941
Sorry, typo. I meant "anuses" not "abuses"
>>
OP must at least deliver a short video of the raping.
Do they knot?
>>
>>2307955
this
>>
>>2307941
My grandparents' little pincher always kept shitting around our house whenever they brought it with them, he was just nervous as fuck
>>
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>>2307955
The closest thing I have is this picture of the black one trying to run away and hide in a corner after the tan one finished anally raping him but still wanted to go for another round.
>>
>>2307973
Sorry it's not a video but if you look closely you can see the trickle of the rapist chihuahuas semen trailing out of its inflamed rectum.
>>
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>>2307973
Looks a little swollen but who's to say if that's not just the constant shitting causing that.
>>
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>>2307941
>>"I have formulated an opinion on the constant shitting. Is it possible that the piston action inside their abuses incurred by the non stop chihuahua rape created a vacuum in their bowels that's causing this projectile shitting? Similar to how one uses a plunger to create suction and dislodge a clogged toilet?"
>>
Fucking archive this please
>>
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>>2307941
>>
>>2307990
how new are you?
>>
>>2307995
As new as you. Those screen caps earlier in the thread could be better.
>>
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Oh man, this thread is just the gift that keeps on giving.
>>
>>2307942
His parents should see this post. You are exactly right. I'm just happy op seems to be functional with these two morons are parents.
>>
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Holy shit this fucking thread
>>
>>2307754
Are you actually autistic ? Just fucking put them in a cage. If you do'nt own one, go buy one.

My god, I can't feel sorry for you since it was a "not so hard" situation to handle and you fucked it up royally.

Seriously, any 12 years old would have done a better job.

There are dozens of solution to your problem and you picked the worst fucking one.

Damn, I'm mad by proxy at how retarded you are.
>>
>>2307941

I swear to god you and your parents are FUCKING RETARDED.

How many extra chromosomes someone need to let the situation slide so far into madness.

Wtf, really WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.

Does your dad has the right to vote ? Tell me they're in a special care home for old retards. Because I can't stand how stupid all your family is at handling this clusterfuck.

JUST FUCKING PUT THEM IN A CAGE EACH.
GIVE THEM TO PEOPLE WHO CAN HANDLE THEM BETTER.
TAKE ANOTHER DOG.
TAKE LESSONS ABOUT HOW TO RAISE / TREAT A DOG.

EVERYBODY WINS.

But no, better throw them in the shower "because a cold shower can fix anything". My fucking god, I can't believe what I'm reading.
Please tell me, is any of you legit retarded so you have an actual excuse for all this ?
>>
>>2308035
>>2308037

And yeah, I'm samefagging, I just thought It couldn't get worse after I posted my first message. Then I continued to scroll.

Fuck you and your terribly retarded family OP.
>>
Holy shit the legendary dog thread is real I thought it was a myth. greetings from ifunny
>>
>>2308038
It sounds like you're the retarded one who hasn't read the thread. OP's dad already got a cage for the tan chihuahua and is thinking of handing them over to a shelter. Good job on reading.
>>
This is so amazing. Those poor, fucked up dogs.
>>
OP if you're alive/awake update us. I want to see more photographic proof of satan
>>
>>2308086
Different anon, but OP's dad is pretty fucking retarded if he thinks the behaviour of these dogs can be fixed by a cold shower
>>
>>2308041
Fuck off
>>
>>2308086
Yeah, then you scroll down and he put him in a shower "because a cold shower will fix anything". This sounds like a cartoon character being retarded for the audience to laugh at.

Don't tell me their family isn't retarded when you see how far into "what the fuck" land the dogs are.

Where is the mother ? Apparently she is chill with her two dogs shitting everywhere in their house ? For a long time apparently ? What is she ? Commatose in a fucking chair ? Drooling over her top while her retarded husband just doesn't give a fuck about dogs fucking each other silly and shitting everywhere.

Man, the only way I see this happening is them being absolutely fucking stupid. So yeah, I'm asking OP if they have a medical condition that could explain all that. Cause if there is not, then DAMN I didn't know people could be so stupid without being handicapped.
>>
>>2306578
>>2306579
>>2306581
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRvfxWRi6qQ
>>
>>2308041
kill yourself
>>
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CAGE MATCH NAO OP
>>
>>2307942
Good post
>>
>>2307973
YADA
OSHIRIGA ITAI YO
>>
>>2306767
>>2306724
>>2306722
>mobile
Just stop.
>>
>>2306685
Looks like they already have that covered themselves!
>>
>>2308001
all threads on most non-/b/ boards are archived automatically, usually on multiple sites, my sweet summer child
>>
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>>2307941
This thread is absolutely amazing and a gift to humanity.
>>
>>2308202
The thumbnails and full images are stored on those sites only temporarily though, only the text content stays permanently. Also, sometimes archive sites stop being hosted and their backups are lost.
We used to have 4chanarchive which could've saved the thread with full images and text. But it's been gone for a long time, and I don't think anything ever came to replace it.
>>
>>2306560
While this is incredibly funny, it's incredibly pathetic that there are people in this world, who unironically think the Chihuahua is any kind of a proper dog.

It's literally the dumbest kind of breed of dog, it's breed can do nothing exceptional, except looking rather cute as puppies.

I was renting a room a while ago, and after about a month the Landlord (who lived in the other end of the house) announced that he was going to be taking care of his daughters Chihuahua.

>it would begin to yelp and wimper as soon as it was left alone
>even if I was in the house, it would just continue to make an extreme amount of noise when left alone
>it would occasionally shit all over the place
>broke in to my room once and ate half of my white chocolate toblerone

They are literally the shittiest type of dog, at least Pitbulls can fight, at least bulldogs can be trained to not shit all over everything, even though they're an inbred degenerate race.

tl;dr, fuck you if you like Chihuahuas. This is what you get.
>>
>>2307769
I wish my ass would slightly prolapse every time I take a shit so that it slides out and doesn't get caught in my ass hair.
>>
>>2308215
That's less the fault of the chihuahua and more the fault of the owners. People treat them like babies instead of dogs, then act surprised when they can't function on their own.
>>
>>2308215
>broke in to my room once and ate half of my white chocolate toblerone
Good. You've got shit taste in toblerone, m8.
>>
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>>2308139
OP here checking in from the fifth ring of hell. The tan one (Bruce) started his shit seizure thing again so my parents needed to hide the black one somewhere else in the house. Keeping them separated seems to be working out ok according to my dad other than the feces tantrums that the tan one does every now and then.
>>
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Behold, more chihuahua excrement
>>
>>2308230
Eat more fiber and take a beard trimmer to your ass. You'll have enough hair to keep from getting sweaty and chapped, but your firm shits won't touch it.

Besides, it's a horse asshole you want, not a dog's. Much cleaner, to the point dispensers have been designed from it.
>>
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He just roll around in it and smears it everywhere. Maybe he thinks he's an artist.
>>
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Who knew that this much shit existed in a dog?
>>
>>2308252
>>2308256
Maybe you should put down the camera, and clean the feces off of your floor before they make an even bigger mess.
That shit's nasty yo.
>>
>>2308259
The dogs are back home, these are pictures from his dad.

How would you get near enough to clean that thing anyway?
>>
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>>2308260
Oh yeah and the latest is that my dad is trying to get a "normal" picture of the dogs so he can convince the rescue that the dogs aren't crazy and worth adopting. Heres the only normal pic he's been able to take of the tan one so far...
>>
>>2308260
>How would you get near enough to clean that thing anyway?
It's a little rat dog chihuahua. One swat would be enough to deter it.
>>
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Honestly though, some chihuahuas are pretty chill
>>
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>>2308266
Yes. And some are malevolent rapists. Like Bruce.
>>
>>2308215
>>it would begin to yelp and wimper as soon as it was left alone
What a coincidence, the people in the unit next to mine just got a dog and it's been doing that all morning. But it just mysteriously stopped after all these hours, I wonder if it got into something.
>>
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>>2308268
He's so mad he's going to sprout eyebrows and they will sprout more branches of mad so you can comprehend how mad he is
>>
>>2306823
>>2306824
>capra_demon.jpg
>>
>>2308269
Nevermind, from the sound of it it just moved to a different room and tired itself out.
>>
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>>2308215
It's because people don't discipline their Chihuahuas.

I'm not a huge fan of the breed, they have nothing to offer except maybe good health for a small breed and convenient size but don't condemn the breed because you had a shitty experience with bad dog owners. If you confine a dog; any dog; to a small space, don't introduce them to new people or new experiences, and barely put any time into training the dog you will always get the same result which is a neurotic misbehaved mess of a dog.

Here's a nice video of a chihuahua doing tricks, it's not a Border Collie but a dog nonetheless.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyEGeodBUpg
>>
>>2306753
Do they still make those threads on /b/? I remember some autist would always try to shut those threads down by spamming his pics. But that was years ago.
>>
>>2308277
Hey, this vid is pretty cool.
Also yes, the problem with small dogs is that they often get picked by people (old women) that don't know what the fuck they're doing and treat them like a spoiled baby. Dogs need exercise, rules, a bit of discipline and love. But if you only give them love they end up like neurotic messes that are frustrated beyond belief.

That being said the most horrendous dog I've seen irl is a chihuahua/pug mix. Neurotic as the first, ugly as the last.
>>
>>2308277
But do any other dogs besides chihuahuas (note the mexican name) really have it in them to keep other dogs as their rape slaves? I think Trump was right after all in building a wall.
>>
>>2308037
>take another dog

For the love of god, no. Don't let the get a new dog.
>>
>>2308213

Just screencap chunks of the thread and crop the parts you want and compile them in microsoft paint. It's not hard, just time consuming.
>>
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>>2308396
I don't know my dad has been trying to be affectionate with the black one. Trying to be empathetic with him I guess. Everytime somebody goes near the black one he goes stiff as a board and is all like "oh, is it rape-o-clock now?" But my dad is trying to show affection. Maybe one day they can get a new dog. I know my mom always wanted a Pomeranian or a pug.
>>
have you thought about killing the tan dog and just tryng to get the black one back on track again? seems to me like hes the victim in this whole scenario, im sure if you would kill the tan one, the black one alone could live alright
>>
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My dad is trying. As I left their hous yesterday I heard him trying to soothe the black one, saying "it's ok boy, I'm not the one who rapes you."
>>
>>2308256
>>2308258
Holy shit that is vile. Your parents' house must be coated in shit. Fucking disgusting.
>>
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>>2308422
>"it's ok boy, I'm not the one who rapes you."
>that face

oh fuckt
>>
>>2308422
This story is magnificent OP, but I have to ask: how do you/your father keep taking those pictures while the dog is attacking you? It can be no easy task to keep it at a distance.
>>
>>2308256
>>2308258

Wtf ? Doesn't it bother you parents ? Aren't they annoyed having shit dog everywhere in their rooms ? Explain to me what do they say about the shit everywhere ? They do'nt care ?
>>
>>2308502
I usually have them leashed to something so they don't lunge at me unexpectedly. These guys are fiercer than they look. One bite from them would absolutely require stitches to mend the wound.
>>
>>2308503
The dog shit everywhere is usually handled by my mom or the cleaning ladies. It gets dealt with fairly rapidly but I'm sure that due to the volume of dog shit that's been excreted in their house that chihuahua feces particles are in the HVAC system by now.
>>
>>2308503
This. I'm so confused about that too. How do they live with dogshit in their house without reaction strongly to it ?
>>
>>2308505
Update us, OP. How's the tan one doing? How about your car?
>>
>>2308505
Ok, we now have the bottom of the story.

OP's parents are filthy rich morons who just don't give a shit.

Please, don't let your mom have another dog. Or force her to get dog training lessons first PLEASE.
>>
>>2308508
The tan one spends most of its time in a cage now grawing on its own balls angrily. The rescue people come tomorrow to meet the dogs. We debated selling the dogs on Craigslist but thought that might not go over well when the buyers got them home.

We did find out why the rape was being ignored for so long: my parents sleep with earplugs in so they didn't hear it when the tan one would rape the black one nightly. The shitting I guess they've just kinda accepted for whatever reason.
>>
>>2308510
Post pics of when the rescue people come to pick the dog up. We have to see the carnage unfold.
>>
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Never had a problem with my Chi, but it seems you either
1. Got them from a retarded owner
Or
2. It's because of their apple head freakyness making them literally mentally retarded due to thier physical deformation.

Pic related. The sweetest little thing ever. Just wants to sleep at your feet and chase his squeak plush toys.
>>
This thread is fucking golden.

I'm saving this for when my wife wants to buy a Chihuahua.
It took months to get her off the pug train, and I know she's going to want a Chihuahua or a Pomeranian soon.
>>
File deleted.
>>2308518
He's only allowed 2 borks a day. But when he's good I'll let him have 3. Seriously, he's one of the best dogs I've ever had and super easy to train. I think OP is just retarded and doesn't know how to take care of dogs. If the dogs are shitting in the house, perhaps you should try taking them outside to poop.
>>
>>2308518
Nice gay sweater.
>>
Holy fucking shit

I went from bawling because I miss my dog due to a doggo thread on /v/

to almost peeing myself from laughter.

Thanks OP
>>
>>2308515
This

>>2308510
>Sleeping with earplugs in so you don't have to hear one of your dogs sodomising and brutally raping your other dog.
>>
>>2307973
Holy fuck, this looks like something out of a rape Doujin.
>>
>>2307984
t. Buggering Bruce.
>>
>>2307955
>Knot
Man, that's a scary idea.
>>
Man i wish your parents will get to experience being rape victims of satan for a lifetime, too
>>
>>2308419
Its so sad knowing what happened to him. I think you shoud kill the tan one in front of him so he knows his pain has an end. That poor dog deserves nothing but the best frpm now on, he suffered too much
>>
>>2307980
Holy kek.
>>
>>2308419
>"Oh, is it rape o'clock?"
>>
>>2308518
I wonder what Bruce would say of that picture, literally asking for it.
>>
>>2308510
>gnawing on his balls
those babies needs emptying and he is missing all those rape o clocks
>>
>>2308518
>>2308522
And you should learn to read the thread.
>>
>>2308703
He wouldn't walk straight ever again.
>>
>>2308727
This, a round or two with Bruce the raging rapist and he'll walk like an american bully.
>>
>>2308731
Toadline
>>
>>2308422
what's this ones name? he doesn't seem like that bad of a guy.
>>
>>2308750
Coltrane
>>
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>>2308754
>>
>>2308754
i like coltrane
i wish i could be nice to him to help him overcome the terrors his body witnessed
>>
Update OP. Are the rescue men there now?
>>
>>2308768
he should keep coltrane
i feel so bad for him, honestly
>>
>>2306823
Please screencap this too
>>
The dogs need to be neutered ASAP and checked out by the vet, walked 3 times a day, muzzle trained, have their separation anxiety sorted out, made sure each of them has their own kennel to sleep in, shielded by a blanket or something, in a quiet place in the room, preferably the two of them to be put in separate rooms, try to get interactive toys which dispense treats to get their mind of boredom, potty trained as if from day 1, socialized with humans and animals, diet sorted out to stick only to good quality dog food or raw fed which would be best as crazy as it might sound for you guys, raw feeding is the best you can do for your dogs, I don't raw feed my rescue only because she has protein allergy and would scratch herself until she bleeds, for all we know, it can be the type of food they're feeding them which causes them to also be so hyperactive and unpredictable, aggressive, resource guarding, please also check with the behaviorist. I don't reccomend drugging the poor things with dog Xanax, that should be used mainly for travel to be honest or bad cases of separation anxiety. The shaking could be also a sign of a neurological problem, check their shots being up to date and make sure they have a rabies shot too from the looks of the pictures >.> as funny as this thread is, the poor dogs are suffering, both of them. Just make sure they both have a muzzle on when socialized with other animals.
>>
>>2308860
>both of them
whot eh fuck cares about bruce? hes a rapist piece of shit. just murder it in front of coltrane and try to get coltrance back on track.
>>
>>2307943
FUCKING ANIMAL ABUSING PIECE OF SHIT FLUFFY ANON GO FUCK YOURSELF AND TELL AICHI TO STICK A DICK INSIDE HIS ASS
>>
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>>2308860
Uh yeah, we're rehoming then to a rescue who's going to have the time & patience to do all of that. Because my parents aren't equipped to handle their needs. Right now the primary concern is keeping them separate to prevent further sexual assault and washing them often to get the shit off their fur. The frequent showers do seem to be mitigating Bruce's penchant for non consensual love making.
>>
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But his deep anger remains. Lurking.
>>
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seething
>>
>>2308896
He'll come for you next.
>>
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>>2308904
He already tried
>>
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>>2308904
Hrs persistent, I'll give him that.
>>
Why arent you washing Coltraine first? You fucks gives too much caring to that asshole while poor Coltraine gets shit.
>>
>>2308914
Coltrane is relatively clean and content right now compared to Bruce. We'd rather not jeopardize that.
>>
>>2308765
He only wishes for the sweet embrace of death.
>>
>>2308907
>>2308906
Holy fuck just kill it.

He's fucking broken.
It's like trying to rehabilitate an "It's awwwright" level child rapist.

Just fucking end it all.

Either that or stick a go pro on him and upload the results whilst he rapes an entire kennel of dogs.
>>
>>2308860
learn how to use a period you fucking redditor
>>
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That tan one is just going to bide their time.
The minute another living creature is within grasp, all the hatred and lust it saved up will be unleashed.
None will be spared.
>>
>>2308936
>it's awwwwwwrgight

holy shit that's an ancient meme friendo
>>
>>2308945
Haven't seen it in ages though, it was a good meme, from better times.
>>
>>2308946
To be completely honest with you the fact that I can still smirk at that meme reminds me I'm a horrible human being thanks to this site.

But anyways holy shit that's one evil ass chihuahua.
>>
>>2308947
Ikr

My favourite part so far is when he stood on his hind legs and started laying a dog egg.
>>2307488
>>
>>2307485
>Hello darkness my old friend.
>I've come to comfort you again.
>>
>>2308931
this made me laugh so much but it also made me sad so much
>>2308936
this. kill bruce, keep coltrane.

OP, can you please post nice pictures of contend and happy coltraine for us? i need them
>>
Coltrane needs to be healed ASAP.
>>
>>2309001
fucking this
>>
this fucking thread is 10/10
>>
>>2309001
#Justice4Coltrane
>>
>>2307903
4chanX can download images from an entire thread without problems on pretty much any modern browser
>>2308202
Even /b/ is achieved nowadays senpai
>>
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>>2306560
Too bad your dog is an asshole. If you are going to get another, try getting a female like pic related (mine). Should be a lot less aggressive.
>>
>>2309091

I really need people to explain why they chose such ugly dogs.

This fur is inglorious lol looks like a fucking 50 years old mop.

I'll never get it. You have the choice, and you get something ugly. Care to explain the selection process ? I need to understand once and for all what pushes people to pick 3/10 dogs when they can get beautiful ones. Please explain.
>>
>>2309163
>>2309091

I mean... Fuck, it looks like a cancerous rat on its deathbed. Shit, the more I look the more I'm confused lol
>>
>>2307620
PineConeZorua go to bed
>>
>>2309037

OP is a retard, but his dad is based.

>Let's name the black one after that colored jazz player
>>
Fucking bump limit, Mods sticky this
>>
>>2309490
Sticky
>>
STICKY IT GODDAMNIT WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GETTING PAYED FOR
>>
STICKY
>>
>>2309522
Our data mostly.
>>
Well one last update before this magical thread fades from existence... the rescue people came today. I had emailed them a link to this thread so they'd understand what they were getting themselves into. They made me promise not to take pics of them or reveal who they are after seeing all the comments in the thread. Sorry about that. They did promise that they'd find a good caring home for Coltrane and promised to send me pics with his new family. Bruce they said they'd work on and keep me posted. They said there still might be hope to rehabilitate him. They didn't specifically mention euthanasia but did indicate that there could be a severe mental problem with him and the only humane thing to do might be to put him down but that's a last resort. Anyway they're gone now and it's all for the best. I hope those tiny little dogs find happiness somehow. Coltrane will be fine. Bruce.... eh who knows.
>>
>>2309614
Magical

I'm going to set
>>2307973
As my lock screen.
>>
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>>2308906
>>2308893
>>
>>2309614
Godspeed, OP. I hope you find a better dog for yourself and your family.
>>
>>2309748
Hahahaha no one is getting a new dog anytime soon. I still need closure here. I asked the the rescue to primarily keep me posted on Bruce. I need to know if and when he dies. I'll need to see his body. That's the only way I can be certain he's not on the loose, raping and pillaging a small town somewhere in the Midwest.

Thinking it over, I'm going to ask for his body back when he dies (assuming he stays with the rescue). Several options for what to do with his remains:

1) donate it to science (there must be something in his brain that's worthy of studying)

2) hold a quiet burial service with family and friends

3) call a taxidermist and get Bruce stuffed. This is my preferred choice. I'd like to have him stuffed and posed in one of his classic Bruce poses: enraged eyes, jaw open and snarling, body bent over and phallus extended and he tries to mount something. Maybe I'll pose him with a model earth globe and he can truly then become "the chihuahua who mounted the world". I can then sell this piece of art to Donald trump who will surely appreciate it as a cautionary piece about the dangers of globalization and open borders. I shall then become rich and have enough money to finish paying off my 2011 Honda Accord. All will be well and Bruce's tale will be concluded at last.

I think we all need closure on Bruce. Coltrane will be fine I'm sure with his new family.
>>
>>2309772
Taxidermy is a good option
>>
>>2309614
OP, as soon as they send you pictures of coltrane you have to post them here
>>
>>2309772
why the fuck do you care about bruce? ust fucking shoot him in the dick.
>>
>>2309772
My fucking sides
OP, are you a comedy writer or something cause jesus christ. I need more of your glorious quotes, some sort of blog or twitter?
>>
>>2309905
Thanks man. I used to blog. Would've loved to be a comedy writer but I settled for a more stabile career instead. Here's the link to the defunct blog if you're interested:

http://ridingwithricky.blogspot.com

It's not all comedic gold but I did have fun with it back in the day. Got featured in the NY Times and USA Today at one point.
>>
>>2309430
How the fuck is his dad based? He let this whole mess happen. It takes a special kind of dumbass to raise a psycho demon chihuahua.
>>
i need more photos of these two dogs

ALL ABOARD THE COLTRANE COAL TRAIN

toot toot
>>
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>>2307815
>the black one's name is Coltrane
>>
>>2307984
>but who's to say if that's not just the constant shitting causing that.
The trickle of semen sliding down it's ass?
>>
Thanks /mu/ for linking
Fun ride
>>
This thread has scarred me
>>
>>2308518
lol what a fag nice sweater kid your mom knit that?
>>
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