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Hey, /a/, I need your help with something. It’s a long story.

Actually I know you’re not gonna take this seriously at all, I sense a sage coming along or some such… (but yeah, what about that huh?! Self-aware copypasta? In my /a/?! It’s more likely than you think…)

There’s this girl I’ve been friends with for about a year and a half now. We go to the same college, and our friendship started when I kept on bumping into her everywhere I went ; in my Japanese class (she was picking up a friend though, not taking it like I was), at a school club we were both trying to join, and also at the local arcade which I just started frequenting back then. I was a sophomore then and she was a freshman.

As you can guess, she’s really into animu and magnum; cute as hell. And goddamn if she was the first person I knew personally who liked to cosplay. Hell, she got me out of my fucking hikki shell and going to anime cons in the first place.

But she’s also one of those really versatile, assertive chicks, really fucking talented. She’s a former honor student, pretty much Dean’s List right now I think, used to be on a bunch of swim teams in high school, plays guitar, sings like an angel… and she’s a beast in the vidya. Rhythm games are her forte, she’ll trash like anyone in Didder or GH/Rockband, but she’s almost tourney level for a casualfag fightan gaem scrub (a girl who actually plays Arcana Heart and Melty Blood? Who just divided the universe by 0?!). She’s also got a feisty, crazy sense of humor, and is just awesome to be around. Oh yeah, and she drinks like a fucking tank. Sumeragi and Misato got nothing on her.

On the flipside, she’s also very anal about certain things. And can get very pissed off very easily under the right circumstances. Maybe you wouldn’t want to be around her then…
I don't think this girl exists, enjoy your body pillow.
Well, the story starts a few months after I got to know her. I figured it was time to move on from some previous drama and try my luck with another person. I considered this girl a friend for a couple of months and nothing more, but it dawned on me like two Decembers ago that she was a girl who I wouldn’t mind having as a girlfriend. She was kinda cute too, no fuck that, she was beautiful. (Being stuck in the same bed at a hotel because of LOL SCHOOL FUNDS during a club trip out of state will do that to ya. It was almost like that moment Shinji wanted to kiss Asuka asleep, but I was too drunk and out of it, rofl…)

So I methodically worked towards trying to court her, hanging out with her more than usual, getting to know her better, having more LOL DEEP discussions about things, all of this culminating into a loser’s Valentine Day thing where I was too scared to admit my feelings on the day (I did at least get her a bouquet of roses though). Thankfully, I found the perfect opportunity and the courage the day after.

Turns out she was flattered, but on the flipside… she gave me the talk of how “some people see people too much as friends” which means I probably didn’t work fast enough. She also told me that she was jaded by relationships, having been in one too many with boring, socially awkward, or manipulative boyfriends. But she was glad to know how I felt and stuff. And gave me a hug. Of course, the story doesn’t end there, though.
If she did we both know you're not good enough for her if you can't do half of the things you just listed about her. Enjoy your ronriness.
you rpoint op?
It’s bad enough that I was already really starting to like her, but I didn’t get to really know what a well-rounded individual she was… I’ll be honest, yeah, I was thinking she was almost in the same boat as me, and other than her diligent approach to schoolwork, had no idea about how much of a jack of all trades, and how she seeked challenges and really asserted herself. For a laid-back, lazy guy like me, who only liked to better himself in certain circumstances (*cough* tourneyfag *cough*) that killed a lot of my confidence.

And I didn’t take it too maturely when she was with other guys. I’d get jealous whenever she was having fun with another guy, especially one who was flirting with her. Let’s just say it caused her to be ill-at-ease with me. I’ll admit again this is my fault. Psychologically, it’s like I was thinking I owned her or whatever because of that little talk we had after I admitted my feelings. Which was fucked up, but it nonetheless subtly dictated all of my little fuck-ups.

Then like two spring breaks ago, she hooked up with one of our other friends. A guy I was pretty cool with, which made things even worse, since I did NOT see it coming by a mile. I took it remarkably better than she and a lot of people expected, although now that she actually HAD a boyfriend, I had a tendency to irritate her even easier than before.
Their relationship grew strong but steady from there. I spent most the summer of ’07 playing Pokeymanz by my lonesome, chilling with her occasionally, but obviously with a strained relationship. We went to AnimeNEXT in NJ, which turned out fairly well, but once again degenerated into LAWL DRAMA during a Saturday night of drinking games in our hotel. Secrets got out, I obviously felt horrible for stupid stupid reasons finding out she wasn’t a virgin but I was, etc… I spent the rest of the night roaming the area, and ended up slamming my head on an empty beer bottle in anger. Surprised the rent-a-cops/popos didn’t find me. Yes I’m a fucking idiot for still liking her, but feelings just don’t go away, and no, the worst of it is not over…

When the following Fall term started again, I didn’t get to see her much as I usually did, but did hang out with her on occasion. We weren’t as close as before for obvious reasons I guess, but I was motivated this time though. Even if she had a boyfriend, and a good one at that, I still felt motivated by the fact that I was a socially awkward virgin who never had a job, had shit for fashion sense, came off as obnoxious, almost insensitive, and a pussy always afraid of taking that next big step. The only thing I really had was personal hygiene at least. But my point is that I wanted to change myself now. I took steps, but as I have a fucking stupid speech impediment where like I Freudian Slip every 10 seconds because my mouth moves faster than my brain, I never did quite know if I was able to do anything about it all.
Come winter holiday break, I don’t know what it was, it definitely wasn’t that her boyfriend and her were having relationship trouble, but we started to get closer as friends again. Maybe it was the fact we started getting into fandubbing and also taking our singing more seriously (she actually wouldn’t mind being a performer, but I’m just in it so I can karaoke better), since we had something new in common. Maybe it was the fact we broke away from our school club because of LOL DRAMA and LOL POLITICS (since she was club treasurer and was being hated on by the rest of the club government). But I guess I started getting even more attached to her because we were back to being friends like before.

Still, like I said, I was never quite sure how I did in improving myself. I definitely wasn’t as much of a loser as before, especially after I’d become much more open, assertive myself and even started my own club. But I couldn’t deny that sometimes I was a big stalker. Hell, she had a lot of them (come on, I’ve already told you how she’s like, why wouldn’t there be a lot of guys vying after her? That’s why I was so jealous back then!), and so I needed to have a talk with her to straighten things out and luckily? She told me that she personally thought it was okay I was so infatuated with her, she was used to it and that I really wasn’t bad at all. I wasn’t socially awkward anymore or anything, and even if I did have a habit of coming short sometimes I always took things in earnest. I didn’t know if I could believe her, but I guess there was a lot of solace to be had.
Post more Tiera
She seems to be a bitch.
Not your blog.

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