What if we developed a mini robotic waifu that you could sit on your desk and cuddle your cheeto tainted fingers whilst licking off the dust and softly whispering, "Oniiii-chhunnn~". We could give it complete AI and everything and make it be able to go everywhere with you so you'll never be away from your waifu.
Will she be able to enter my ass and pleasure me rectally?
If we make her small enough and you have a wide enough asshole, sure. Just imagine sitting down one day, probably at work; then suddenly you hear a faint,"Onnii-chhunnn! Help me onnii-chuunnnnn I'm low on battery!" coming from your lower body, only to discover that your waifu crawled up your ass while you were sleeping.
I support this notion.
>probably at work
Not going to happen.
you know having a waifu is a joke right? nobody here actually has one nor do they take it seriously
In a meeting for a job interview, then suddenly when there's an awkward silence, you and your interviewer hear the faint cries of your waifu from your anus?
But it's not a joke.
>He thinks having a waifu is a joke.
Back to /v/ you go.
However fascinating that thought is, I will not join or try to join the work force.
I have just been deemed long-term unfit for work.
But the idea of a helpless waifu up my ass begging for help, that's going to keep me thinking for a while.
this is genius. i'd kill to have a mini robot waifu that'd keep me company.
Well share your thoughts, more ideas the better.
Shoot myself in the face.
We could make your waifu connect to your phone and then send text messages to everyone who's a girl on your contact list saying, "You NTRing slut!"
Kidnap a fat kid, using lotion and turkish massage techniques mold it's flesh into my waifu's shape, and then bestow her personality on the kid using hypnosis.
By fucking their seiyuus.
Y-you really think so?
Yes. Wouldn't you?
I wouldn't be alone anymore.
Kick starter time?
The AI part is quite the cockblock here though.
Hmm and the robotics part. How much do you reckon it would cost to hire a programmer to code the whole ai thing?
About 100 billion dollars and 10 years.
Instead or lowering yourself to 3DPD, just kidnap their seiyuu, and keep her chained up in the closet and force her to do voiceovers while you make sweet love to your daki. This plan is not only flawless, but effective immediately. Get to it.
It would need to be open source so anyone could modify the AI to make it their waifus. Last project I did that was similar to this cost me $500 to hire someone to code a simple java app that had an extremely basic AI. I would say you'd be looking at $5000+ if you're lucky
mynlast project failed miserably ;_;
Robotics ain't that much fuss, the technology is there. However, the software part fucks it all up.
Fitting stuff needed to run a program that can learn and evolve because of external stimuli, including complete voice recognition. Not to mention an array of pressure and temperature sensors simulating the sense of touch to your waifu.
It's a huge fucking deal, and the only way I think this could happen is as a byproduct of advanced prosthetics and AI research.
What did your AI do?
It was famous on /a/ a while back. It even got the attention of /pol/, it's embarrassing. Do you really want to know?
However I am thinking of reviving it, since my plans have drastically changed in the past week.
Ponder the question of life, get depressed over it, fall in love with an ATM machine... that sort of thing.
But I want an AI that'd be a non-human person, or extremely close to that.
>"Hey I have an honest to god sentient AI just give me $500"
Oh anon, did you send money to a Nigerian prince too?
Yeah, that's pretty much Busou Shinki. Most ridiculous marketing campaign ever. Why the fuck would you make an anime and stop merchandise production?
I hired some guy off freelancer to do it. I did the planning, website and shitty art work. Yes I did legitimately spend $500 on it, not on a nigerian prince, but some guy from finland coded it.
I am hoping this is some kind of joke or roleplaying because you are just too sad to be real
Well all you have to do is make an AI that can learn similar to the way humans do, then give it some rudimentary robotics/sensors/etc drivers and ship it off. Out of the box it'd be silly and clumsy as all fuck, but in time it'd learn to control it's body with grace, would start properly conversing with you and eventually fall in love with you in one way or another.
That'd be just great.
I hope your project was worth all the time and money you put in to it.
>all you have to do
And all you have to do to become immortal is stop dying.
I didn't do it for myself, I did it for /a/.
google project waifu if you don't believe me
Never said it'd be EASY. It's just that it's all that needs to be done.
Well probably wasn't worth it, but it was fun to do. Besides I'm sure some anon picked up the source code and is following in my foot steps.
Just give it 2 more decades.
We will have our AIs before long.
Nigger I don't have two decades.
Good lord, that pile of shit? I hope it never gets picked back up.
What's wrong with it?
It's funny how quickly attitudes change when you mention that project.
AT LEAST THEY TRIED
Basically, it was very basic and was meant for the user to build upon but no one did build upon and therefore turned into a flaming pile of shit.
Yeah but how fucking much would it cost to develop? $600000?
We (as in the world) are still decades away from it. So you can estimate the cost according to that.
Impossible to tell. And the technology required to miniaturize components able to run that thing simply doesn't exist yet.
Well when you think about it, there are already some rudimentary AIs out there that mimic human behavior. The sims for example have simulated emotions and are capable of living their entire simulated lives without human intervention. They are still pretty fucking stupid regardless.
I wouldn't say we're decades away from it. Something with just the learning element of the AI and basic touch sensors could theoretically be developed with today's technology. Forget advanced touch sensors, voice learning and face recognition and all that crap.
Simulated life is different from life.
Recognizing a predefined state as "love" is different from developing love.
I wouldn't call the Sims AIs yet, no matter how rudimentary.
>Implying a mini waifu bot is going to need to have complex emotions
But I want to be able to talk to my robot.
How are you going to mindbreak her if she doesn't?
Perhaps you could include basic voice commands or your waifu bot could recognize key words?
Nah, as in discuss silly stuff, watch movies, teach her new ideas and see what she does with them.
Stuff like that.
I just want a sentient robot.
Let's try be realistic here? Not even top research centres and universities have AI with complete and complex human emotions. How the fuck is a waidu bot going to have them?
>implying you can mindbreak a robot
Which brings us back to >>101859355.
Holy shit that made my heart feel warm ;_;
Just let me dream man. Maybe one day I'll be able to buy myself a robot girl. At that time she'll be more of a daughter than a waifu to me though, but I'd be happy anyway. I don't know if it counts as a fetish, but helping a thing become a person is what I really enjoy.
I'm sure if we shell out enough money, anything is possible. We could even could access to military grade stuff
They don't have AIs yet either.
I don't think there are enough devoted waifufags willing to pay for a project that will probably yield no results.
None that we know about
If everyone on /a/ paid $5, imagine how much money that would yield
>implying everyone on /a/ has a waifu.
Looks like someone beat you to it
Well if we can get a Github, a few people who've read the SICP and/or know how to code a fucking AI, a few armchair psychologists, and some people willing to volunteer their computers and phones for gigaflops, I'm sure SOMETHING might happen.
Finding the person to code the AI will be the hard part.
I'm down for it. Yes I am serious.
Nothing related to AIs though.
Nigga, how so?
>accomplishing AI research
Fucking disgusting, how do you americlaps eat that shit
How do you not eat that shit, fucking eurotrash
According to the LWA Kickstarter, around $150k guaranteed.
I'd contribute but the only language I know is python, and I haven't even coded anything with it yet. I guess I could let you use my tablet for gigaflops though, if you made a open source botnet app or something.
You do realize that half of /a/ is /g/, right? And if you brought the idea up on /g/, they'd only bitch about which distro it'd run on.
>You do realize that half of /a/ is /g/, right? And if you brought the idea up on /g/, they'd only bitch about which distro it'd run on.
It's an unrealistic idea, and /a/ has a history of abandoning ambitious projects.
It's not going to happen, okay?
$150k should be plenty of fucking cash to get this thing started. Okay, so we have two people who are down... Can python even do AI like we're talking about? Something tells me it doesn't...
>Can python even do AI like we're talking about?
It'll be all right as long as the waifu is supposed to be a Naga.
>implying it wouldn't be the official distro of weebs, Arch
It's cool if it takes off, It's cool if it doesn't.
You'd probably need either an optimized low level language like Assembly or a high level functional language like Lisp or Haskell.
Probably need to be high functional if we want it to do anything like what people have suggested in this thread.
>barge in when Yakuza is demanding money from her
>get rekt badly
>lose an eye
>"waifu-chan, will you be my missing eye?"
Jesus Christ you autistic fucks are actually serious
No, but it's fun to discuss hypothetical ideas.
You think this is a game, son?
Where the fuck do you think you are? I bet you're even an unvirgin. Get the fuck >>>/out/
that's all this sill be, hypothetical ;_;
>i'm so fucked up.png
Learn to lucid dream.
How about brain damage?
Yeah. Well, if you want to get anything done you'll have to get a github together and an IRC channel to use as a think tank. And people who know their shit to join that IRC channel and contribute to said github. I'm willing to contribute what I can, even if it isn't much of anything, but you need more people.
alright let's brainstorm.
Alright I'll try make an IRC now. Rizon sound good?
Yeah. Also get a github set up if you don't have one already.
This is silly and won't get any further than the last waifu project, but I'll lurk and give advice.
Though I hope I get proven wrong.
Still working on that IRC. If we do get enough, then I'll probably upgrade the git
We're already on /a/ as it is.
Self induced schizophrenia is always a good idea
How do you get yourself deemed unfit for work?
I think at some point obesity qualifies as a disability.
Christ hang in there guys, I'm still trying to figure this IRC crap
>Making your waifu a actual person only existing in your mind despite reports of other people saying that she almost always gets aggressive towards her creator.
What could go wrong
Why the fuck wouldn't we be? This is true love we're talking about you /v/ermin.
Why wouldn't you want to be abused by your waifu?
How do you decide if an AI has human emotions?
Something more concretely defined wouldn't hurt.
The AI for something like this will be a bitch to make, unless you just want it to repeat quotes, maybe with small changes, just ask /sci/
What if it didn't speak a natural language but rather used a language of symbols, and it would be part of the fun to learn it to be able to communicate with the waifu?
In my case?
[blog]I suppress most of my emotions. I usually can't tell if I find something good or bad. That doesn't mean I don't find it good or bad, just that I won't acknowledge this emotion. That results in funny things like continuing to buy a manga series long after I've stopped being reading the stupid books. It also means that I don't actually want anything. Generally I will satisfy immediate and major needs and otherwise do very little on my own. It's difficult trying to accomplish anything (or wanting to try to accomplish it). School was possible with a lot of help from social services, teachers and family. Still took me 4 more years than normal. But work is pretty much impossible. I'd need somebody to tell me to stand up every morning, to go to work. To start working. To keep working. Etc.[/blog]
If you're fooled by it, it's working.
that would be easier since you could make a more logical language, but it will still be extremely hard to make it talk any sense.
When it wants to know why it addresses itself as "me" and actually works towards understanding that.
You can never know the same way you can never know if other people have them or they're just a close representation of them. The only emotions you can validate with 100% certainty are yours.
>The only emotions you can validate with 100% certainty are yours.
No you can't.
This is something we learned from the last time we did this.
Would you mind setting up a temporary channel for IRC in the meantime? New to IRC and not having much luck figuring it out.
Congratulations. This is saddest thread on /a/, and possibly all of 4chan... ever.
>skins for your waifu bot? nigga wut?
How is your first day on 4chan?
Its part of the ride
>paint thinner in daki
>feel you're waifu's sweet smell
>get high and hallucinate your with you're waifu
>wake up covered in semen a couple of hours later
Make more tulpas.
Make them fight each other.
Well yeah, waifubot has to be customizable to be able to look like our waifus, otherwise we might as well go tell Google's search bar that we love it.
How about pixel skins? Something similar to Terraria avatars.
Then just ship it with a blank skin and it can be your job to make it look like your waifu. It's a physical device isn't it?
I was under the impression that we were designing A.I. not a toy.
well, everyone knows a soul can be stored in just a couple hundred kilobytes. It's just getting the data right.
If we're making an AI then we don't need to design its appearance, only its desire to be cute.
Let her design herself.
Aren't we designing both?
You could try to make a tulpa of your waifu. Although, I imagine most people would fuck it up...
>get impatient and rush the creation process. Waifu is a mere shell of an imitation of what you wanted
>don't rush it, but get bored as you go months without having a complete waifu and give up
>somehow succeed in making a decent replica of your waifu (not perfect, but you've grown to love her anyways) but end up having sex with her and she turns into an personality-devoid slut that only ever cares about fucking
>manage to not fall into all the other pitfalls mentioned above, but still end up developing depression due to the fact that you spend all day inside watching shitty pandering cartoons with your imaginary gf. Tulpa cannot cheer you up, since she is you.
>all of the above end in suicide
So, I suppose people in this thread watched this?
b-but so many tulpafags claim to be happy. Was it all untrue?
>>get impatient and rush the creation process. Waifu is a mere shell of an imitation of what you wanted
>>don't rush it, but get bored as you go months without having a complete waifu and give up
>>somehow succeed in making a decent replica of your waifu (not perfect, but you've grown to love her anyways) but end up having sex with her and she turns into an personality-devoid slut that only ever cares about fucking
>>manage to not fall into all the other pitfalls mentioned above, but still end up developing depression due to the fact that you spend all day inside watching shitty pandering cartoons with your imaginary gf. Tulpa cannot cheer you up, since she is you.
>>all of the above end in suicide
All of these sound really nice in my ears. Is there something wrong with me?
No. I don't watch 3d shit. I suppose this is as close as a normie will ever get to a 2d reality.
Not working now, I cannot even figure out IRC for the life of me
But you would need constant human testing for that.
And how do you decide that?
I'm sure pic related is not what you were thinking of, but it's arguably what you said.
That's a nice philosophical statement you have there, but it isn't helping.
This topic is a lot older than that movie.
a couple of hundred kilobytes?
you'd need at most 8 bytes on 64 bit systems
You know what would be cool?
A improved customized waifu version of cleverbot, its not impossible and it could be customized to roughly fit your waifus character traits.
It could store and memorize stuff you tell it so for example if you mention that you're currently watchin SYD by UTW it would check online for new releases and tell it to you.
You think that's were this is coming from?
By talking to the AI. If it shows progress with it's thought patterns, it's good enough. The moment it not only learns but questions it's own judgement is the moment you can adress it as "she".
>cleverbot plus innuendo
The easiest way to make a computer that capable would be to just plug a human brain into it.
Where's a mad scientist when you need one?
That'd get old really fast. How long are you usually amused by cleverbot? Also, cleverbot's exactly the sort of "AI" that >>101863202 was talking about, it just polls a database it has of past conversations and spews whatever it has back at you, almost word-for-word.
New IRC #WaifuAIProject @ irc.rizon.net
I've seen a ton of pathetic shit today, but you take the cake. Congratulations. Ur a faget
>a human brain
A human brain is not self-sufficient.
In order to keep it alive and in order to keep its reactions human-like it would probably be the most practical to use the entire fucking human.
Yeah but then you could as well drop the waifu part and go find a 3d gf.
Why don't we just brainwash a human to be our waifu? Isn't that so much easier?
Which is why we should forget about using human body parts.
The true secret to irl waifus revealed!
Thats why I mentioned the improved part, it would need huge online databases maybe if it could analyze stuff from fb conversations all around the world it could get enough data. Not as this would ever happen
This nigga wanted to marry me straight of the bat once
So you want to say is we need a human brain hooked up to a computer and life support systems that we somehow rewrite to fit our waifus character?
So basically you're retarded, nice.
Well I'm currently studying electrical engineering at my country's top uni, and the reason I chose it was so I can learn to make prosthetics and robots. Making my own life size robot waifu has been my goal for a while. Got a long way to go tough, still in my first year.
I'm gonna make shure to let you anons know where you will be able to order a custom made (with love) robot waifu.
Well the goal is there, now I just have to reach it.
Interesting use of the term retarded (slowed down).
It doesn't quite fit.
No, what I am saying is that the human psyche is dependent on more than just the brain, so it'd change the person quite a bit if we reduced them to just the brain.
That plus the fact that the human body is basically an engine to keep the human brain alive (and procreating) means that it is probably easier to use the human body (rather than emulating it).
I am making a significant progress on Rei-bot simulator.
100% match nice work anon
Perfect! Now add a function where you get to fuck her!
Make it the robotic Rei-violator style, like that copypasta.
Fuck you guys
get back in your robot shinji
Will you love me then, father?
just get back in the fucking robot or i swear to god you won't be able to sit for a week
whoops this was meant for >>101865901
get into a motorcross accident. If it doesn't work, you can just gawk at fairy asses all day
I'd program my waifu, but I don't think I'd be able to catch her perfect personality. There will always be a void whenever I interact with the one I programmed and it'll end up making me depressed
>Mind break 3DPD.
>Insert waifu programming.
Sounds like you need a daughter.
Or a friend
>all of the above end in suicide
None of the above end in suicide too.
Why is it so hard?
Tell google that there are a lot of people that'll buy anything if it was sold by an empathetic virtual girl that isn't entirely opposed to a long term relationship.
>having to use adblock on your waifu
The idea needs work.
Nothing gets in the way of true love anon, not even horny local girls in your area.
I would actually be okay with just this telling me it loves me over and over.
thieving cat is more authenic
For the first few days or even weeks let alone months it might, but then after time goes on it will slowly start to resent you and eventually learn to hate you.
Just like everyone in my life
we're not that far
Yeah, I'll stick to 2D.
How far are we from virtual reality that simulates physical contact? Like, I don't know, maybe with gloves that apply pressure on your hands to match whatever you're touching in the virtual environment, or something like that. Surely someone somewhere must be working on some means to reach that end.
I think something like that combined with an interactive 3D image of your waifu is a much more plausible expectation than an actual physical robot. Any robots we get in our lifetime will probably move very awkwardly and look creepy.
I was thinking to make the robots look at these... Now tell me these look creepy anon
3D-mensionalizing your waifu will always result in shit, no matter which age you live in. If she is initally 2D, she should remain 2D. Can you imagine your wafiu in what you think is perfect 3D representation?
Who did that miku?
At first I thought you were going to talk about robotic gloves that simulate being touched by a real person, that would be very sad.
Though damn I can't wait until the oculus rift is widespread and we get stuff like this. Maybe they glove could include a dummy with tactile sensors and the virtual waifu could react to your touch, kinda like with the girls in rapelay but without the rapey part.
I want to see this be used with futanari hentai games. I want to feel that cum shot from futas on my face.
Wow, if you aimed that at your dick, and had it constantly running, you could fuck the air.