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Just like in that Eva thread, ITT: People who have never watched or read Monogatari Series tell us what happens in the series based off of what they learned from /a/.
>>
There's a loli vampire and Kizumonogatari will never be released.
>>
Guy ends up becoming a vampire because he looked at the class rep's panties. Then he tried to use a monkey's paw to turn himself into a tree, but instead got covered in bitches and is now stiff 24/7
>>
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I really thought (and still do) it was just some retardedly long harem anime where a new girl wins every season and /a/ bitches about it.
>>
There are a shit-ton of stories/seasons, it's famous because its fanservice like that toothbrush scene and 2deep4u dialogues.
>>
Some guy goes around violating random girls, lolis and his sister. Also there's some pretty animation of plot and backstory.

Then something about a vampire.
>>
>read
Maybe when the rest is translated

Or I learn Japanese AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
Snake is best girl and some creep gets a hard-on brushing his sister's teeth.
>>
>>101593057
A man likes various animals and also traverses a strange universe where everything is artsy.
>>
There's a guy who's some sort of god or a ghost buster or something, and he hangs around a bunch of girls who are all his sister or something. He solves crime in a generally over dramatic fashion.

The girls don't really help him, they're just there for fan service. He sexually abuses them, but in a funny way. There's a loli, one who REALLY likes toothbrushes, and one that has a protractor fetish.

No girl wins. Or maybe they all do.

Is this show good?
>>
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PLOT, crabs, scissors & staplers fall out of a skirt, brushing your sister's teeth, meganeko turns into nekomimi, ridiculously named loli vampire
best girl ruins herself with a haircut
>>
Arararararararagi is a vampire and a loli magnet. It sounds like a harem to me, but /a/ says it isn't. He also fights spirits.

Toothbrush scene and Kizu never.

It's been in my backlog since forever, maybe I should pick it up one of these days.
>>
>>101593222
Most accurate description so far.
>>
there is a lot of talking which many times has little to no animation and there are girls based on bugs/various animals. one of which is related to the main character.
Sorry I'm not creative here, that's all I can tell. Probably going to try picking it up now that I have the room to download anime again.
>>
>>101593378
>monogatari
>a harem
>People actually believe this
>>
Alright, so there's this dude (I'm gonna call him Kevin because I don't know his real name) and he has like three hot sisters, and two of them are twins or something. Kevin's a gigantic pervert and ends up getting the attention of some kind of catgirl succubus demon thing because he's creeping too hard on girls. Then there's this vampire loli cult devoted to stopping the catgirl succubus because she'll end the world? Or they both just want Kevin's dick, not sure. There's also a medusa and a naked lesbian who wants to mack all over Kevin's sister(s) and she might also be his sister.
>>
>>101593823
Ok how the fuck is it not? I haven't watched it because "harem" is a shit "genre".

Is there even a second male character in this series?
>>
5'5 average good for nothing MC narrates the story, exchanging poorly written banter and puts up with the whims of a bitch tsundere that has zero redeeming qualities.

AKA haruhi #234242343242422
>>
>>101593906
Yes. Monogatari isn't a harem. People would know that if they watched it.
>>
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The best selling show post Evangelion is a Powerpoint slideshow with lots of fanservice.
Also, this face.
>>
>>101593948
I'm asking, how is it not a harem? Everything I've seen about it says harem.
>>
Everybody on /a/ is gay for the MC.
>>
>>101593978
Araragi has a grilfriend.
>>
>>101593978
Just because bitches want his dick, doesn't make it a harem. I'm not the best person to explain it but it's definitely not a harem. I never saw it to be a harem until I saw people on /a/ saying that it's harem.

>>101593961
>lots of fanservice.
It doesn't have much actually.
>b-b-b-but Nise!
>One episode out of 11 has fanservice
>>
>>101593906
There's two others, and out of the three, Araragi is the least impressive. His one major talent is being able to take a beating.

Also Araragi has a girlfriend. His sisters both have boyfriends. One of the girls he hangs out with is a lesbian, another is a ghost, one confessed to him and he rejected her, the other is a psycho yandere who isn't actually in love with him, just the idea of being in love with him.

The only real contender for stealing away Araragi from Hitagi is Shinobu, because she's closer to him even than his girlfriend, but even then she wouldn't need to steal him, she just needs to wait. Eventually, he'll outlive her, and he'll be hers.
>>
>>101594075
So for that one reason, the whole concept of the 4-5(?) other girls wanting his dick and getting into sexual situations with him is null and void?

Even if he was happily married with kids I'd call it a harem.
>>
Hanakana loses again.
>>
>>101594129
Jesus that all sounds terrible. Fine, it's not a harem, but I ain't watching it.
>>
>>101594167
So you haven't seen it and you are trying to say what kind of show it is? Are you always this retarded?
>>
>>101594243
oh no, how will the world carry on
>>
>>101594243
I don't really care, I was just explaining it because you asked.

And at any rate I doubt you had any intention of watching it in the first place.
>>
The girls are animal-like spirits or something like that, there's a crab, a cat, a snake and I don't know what else.
Araragi saves and abuses of them.
Toothbrushing.
The plot is deeeeep.
Keki (is that actually his name?) dies at the end.
>>
>>101594167
Only shipperfags say it's not a harem.
He has more sexual situations with other girls including his sisters than his girlfriend and kissed random lolis, not to mention he faps to a shrine (an actual shrine) of Hanekawa.
>>
>>101594339
I did not.
>>
Kizu never.
>>
Vampire guy has harem composed of animal girls (cat, monkey, snail, snake). Cliché 1000+ years old vampire in a loli body. Bored looking guy named Kaiki is the bad guy but also the best boy. Kizumonogatari won't be released.

Also, walls of text
>>
A faggot with Ahoge hair has to decide if he wants to fuck a trap, snail or vampire.
>>
There's a Nisemonogatari, a Bakemonogatari, a Catmonogatari, a Penismonogatari, a You'rewaifuashitmonogatari and much more. Apparently you need to pause it every 5 seconds to read the cards in screen.
Kizumonogatari's movie will never be released because SHAFT is too busy milking Madoka.
>>
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>>101594054
But we're more gay for psuedo-MC...
>>
>>101594542
it's wrong, but I can see why he'd think it.
>>
>>101594695
Kaiki is best boy and girl.
Arararagi a manlet.
>>
>>101593892
I'm totally gay for Kevin.

No homo.
>>
it's shit
>>
>>101594834
I guess that's how you can tell that you never watched it

#rekt
>>
>>101594125
Are you blind?
>>
A guy brushes his sister's teeth. There is this blond girl who likes to open her mouth really wide but dislikes clothes. There's also this albino cat girl whose only purpose in the series is to cock tease the MC. It's basically harem shit. By the looks of it every single character in the series bathes in oil everyday.
>>
There's this guy who is surrounded by all these youkai or something and they are all related to a different animal and want his dick. The guy also wants to fuck his sister and brushes her teeth.
>>
A vampire/ghoul commits bestality
>>
>>101593892
Why isn't this an anime?
>>
Shirou is the red man.
>>
>>101594129
>Eventually, he'll outlive her, and he'll be hers.
SILVER MEDAL INCOMING.
>>
>>101594581
There is no trap and the world is so much worse because of that.
>>
>>101595232
Shinobu is also used goods so they're even.
>>
>>101594167
Harems are about ambiguous relationships with multiple women, so even if there is a frontrunner there is no official couple and every girl is still a viable option for the MC. That's what makes it a harem. Harems usually end when the MC chooses a girl and they become officially an item.

Araragi gets a girlfriend about 4 episodes into the first season.
>>
Tits, ass, and some other stuff nobody cares about
>>
Alright, the MC (commonly called Ararararararagi by /a/) is a vampire. He goes around saving girls possessed by spirits-animals and all of them fall in love with him. There's a cat with huge tits and the girl voiced by Chiwa Saito has a thing for school supplies. There's also Shinobu, the loli vampire that everybody loves (or her fans are pretty vocal about her). Years ago, their threads used to be target of gorespammers. There's too little to none animation (though, I saw some nice sakuga gifs) and it looks like a PowerPoint slideshow. Kizu movie never. The MC brushes his sister's teeth.

Japs love it, making it the most successful series since Eva (I think).
>>
Is about a place where for some reasons I dont know girls with animal name will come and want the dick and blood of this incestuos guy who also get sometimes beaten and everyone's neck is broken.

The series has a lot of fanservice while somehow having a good plot and dialogues and deep themes, so I hear.
>>
>>101595232
He already belongs to her. Shinobu herself has had many "familiars" already. It's not about purity or anything like that. Araragi and Shinobu are bonded. She has no reason to be impatient when she knows Araragi will outlive any mortal lover he takes.
>>
It has like 20 different OPs and, apparently, all of them are great (I only listened to the staples OP and it was nice).
>>
>>101595679
That's pretty low tier for Monogatari though. Rennai Circulation and Platinum Disco are usually counted as the best.
>>
>>101595743
Cool, will listen to them (or maybe I'll download the series for once).
>>
The MC, whose name begins with Ara and then infinitely repeats ra over and over, is stuck in a harem with some chicks who are possessed by animal spirits.
There's also a vampire there for some reason.

Then the snail loli died and this was sad and tragic.
>>
>>101595298
>Araragi gets a girlfriend about 4 episodes into the first season.
He might as well not have a girlfriend though. He's got a girlfriend just in name.
>>
>>101595298
speaking of, what's with the whole dating for a year and only having their first date in episode 12?
>>
>>101595953
Japs are slow as fuck. Plus, they have one of the most romantic anime episodes I've ever seen.
Really, Crab is best girl, willing to go the extra mile for him. She won fairly.
>>
>>101595953
He takes it pretty seriously.
>>
Kamiyan was a vampire but now he's not anymore, but he still gets all the chicks who all go by animal names for some reason. Also there's a ton of text and hair cutting and toothbrush incest and pretentious SHAFT architecture and Shinichiro Miki's sexy voice is everyone's favorite character.
>>
>>101596105
Really dude, you can't just play the Bake 12 every time.

Ararararagi had more sexual and romantic moments with every other girl. Shit, he has clothes and a shrine of Cat to worship. He kissed Shinobu, Snail and Ononoki. He was willing to be with Snail forever.

C'mon now.
>>
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>>101596126
>reminder
>>
Arararagi is the greatest male MC. He saves girls from spirits and vampires but he's also a lolicon and ends up molesting them. He has a girlfriend but he also loves class prez' tits. Pantyshots everywhere. Kizumonogatari has been in production since forever.

>>101596023
Oh, this, in every thread of great anime episodes, Bakemonogatari episode 12 is always mentioned as the best episode of the whole series.
>>
>>101596266
Oh, he's terrible. He just got a 10/10 girlfriend,
>>
>>101596266
>a shrine of Cat to worship
I must have missed this. When was this?
>>
>>101596386
Well, yes. Episode 12 is perhaps perfectly executed. The payoff at the end is just too good.
It makes you feel as if you accidentally started watching an actual good anime or something.
>>
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>>101596388
ArararagixCrab shippers everyone.
>hurr durr bake 12 hurr durr
>>
>>101596396
Kizu if my memory doesn't fail me. Which is actually about Ararararagi fapping to Cat's panties.
>>
>>101596894
>Kizu
So before he started dating Gahara.
>>
There's ghostbuster (Meme, right?) with a hawaiian shirt who needs to stop Ghost Banri.
>>
>>101596950
Yeah, but it's still there.
>>
>>101596950
He still has the shrine of Cat's bra and panties he got in Kizu, newfag.
>>
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>>101596968
>who needs to stop Ghost Banri.
>>
>>101594129
You're about 70-80% right.
>Araragi is the least impressive
>The only real contender for stealing away Araragi from Hitagi is Shinobu
(I'm a Shinobu fan, and Hitagi is my 2nd least favourite girl)
>>
So the MC is a vampire who is not a vampire and everyone wants his dick but doesn't want his dick and he has a girlfriend who is not his girlfriend and he power bombed a little girl into the pavement after sexually harrassing her.
Also xX720noscopeXxtoothbrushing that can make dicks into diamonds.
Also physical gods and the apocalypse? I'm not sure.
>>
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There's a tsun/yandere Homura (Crab) but instead of guns she uses pencils, staples, protractors, etc, and there are like four or five more girls who love Araragi.
It's SHAFT-y as hell, Bakemonogatari (along with SZS) tends to get most of the votes for the best SHAFT show in SHAFT threads.
There are nice backgrounds and architecture.
The girls are possessed by spirits and Araragi fights them because he's a vampire and that's his job, I think.
He molests the lolis but he's Crab's boyfriend.
Cat is always naked and she has some big boobs.
There's a medusa too.
The loli vampire is canonically the cutest girl or so I read.
Kaiki, the other MC, died at the end of the second season and everybody flipped their shit.
SHAFT's headtilts and cards every two minutes.
Can't forget the toothbrushing scene.
>>
Tomboy with long hair is best girl, cat girl has large tits.
>>
Came for the extreme tooth-brushing.
Stayed for the vampire loli.
>>
>>101593646
I laughed pretty hard. Yeah, Anon, go download it.
>>
>>101597907
Bakemonogatari was before Madoka. So, Homura is more of Crab than the other way around.
>>
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This girl has a fetish for staplers.
>>
Question, /a/.
Will this anime give me warm and fuzzy feelings and also maybe make my dick hard?
Or is it full of drama and tears?
>>
The MC's name is ararigato or something
>>
There are people who haven't seen Eva and Monogatari?
>>
>>101598834
JEEZ Onii-chan, not everyone is an anime connoisseur like YOU.
>>
>>101598834
I've never even heard about them before, I just got linked to this thread by some weirdo who's my friend.
>>
>>101598572
It will give you warm fuzzy feelings and make your dick hard.
It's been a long time since I've cried while watching an anime, and this made me cry like a little baby
>>
>>101598572
>Will this anime give me warm and fuzzy feelings and also maybe make my dick hard?
Yes.

>Or is it full of drama and tears?
Yes.

Well, not really filled, but there are definitely some parts that are pretty damn sad.
>>
>>101599330
>>101599355
Well, shit, I'm biting the bullet.
>>
>>101593057
Kaiki dies a well deserved death.
>>
>>101593675
>best girl ruins herself with a haircut

That can be interpreted in several ways. I cried when Karen cut off her pony tail.
>>
>>101599461
>Kaiki dies a well deserved death.

You can't have learned that here. /a/ loves Kaiki hard. Also, there is a lot of claiming that he isn't dead.
>>
>>101599409
Go for it, we believe in you.
>>
>>101599409
Prepare for waifu wars when you're done
>>
Ok so there's this guy. I think he's like a zombie or something.

for some reason a cat lady with black hair, a person wearing a rain parka, and a chick with purple hair all want to fuck with him, but he can't die for some reason so he keeps getting the shit kicked out of him.

there's also a cat lady with white hair who gets the shit beaten out of her by a blonde loli.

There's also this scene where a guy mouth rapes his sister with a tooth brush.

I think there's also a girl who can telekinetic ally control office supplies
>>
>>101593423
You've watched it don't lie.
>>
>>101599717
>I think there's also a girl who can telekinetic ally control office supplies
Fund it.
>>
This thread really gives the impression of Araragi being the biggest rapist in the history of anime.
>>
>>101599523
Because he lives in Hana
And Kaiki was telling the story. How can he tell a story if he's dead.
He lied about dying. It's Kaiki, for fucks sake
>>
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>>101599564
>waifu wars
More like people agrguing about who's the second best girl because everyone agrees who's the best one
>>
A bunch of fanservice, loli vampire and it may be in it's 10th season yet the same screencaps are being posted.
>>
An edgy highschooler called araragi gets turned into a vampire by a loli and he gets the ability to turn animals into girls.

also he gets off by brushing girls teeth
>>
>>101599918
Name a bigger pervert in anime.
Protip: You probably can, fuck if I know
>>
>>101600046
If anyone has ever looked like a vampire in this entire series, its fucking Kaiki. His skin is pale as fuck, not too mention that hair.
>>
Literally the only thing I know about this is the tooth brushing scene.
>>
Text text text
Headtilt
Fanservice
Crab worse girl
Bat best loli
>>
>>101600469
>i am willingly ignorant on a good series
>>
>>101595298
>Harems are about ambiguous relationships with multiple women, so even if there is a frontrunner there is no official couple and every girl is still a viable option for the MC. That's what makes it a harem. Harems usually end when the MC chooses a girl and they become officially an item.
Good job making your own wrong definition retard.
>>
>>101600639
>>i am willingly ignorant on a good series

Be it a good series or not, that's the point of this the thread.
>>
>>101600639
More like never bothered to look further than a youtube video because I was bored and marathoning Gintama for like the 50th time.
>>
>>101593057
Ready /a/?

It's about some fucker who is surrounded by beautiful women but never goes steady with any of them even though he could probably be steady with all of them. He's terrible in fights, they're always saving his ass. He still doesn't screw any of them. A catgirl appears in front of him half naked. He doesn't try to have sex with it.

Same MC cleans his sister's teeth and somehow she cums buckets. For a guy who doesn't screw, he must be pretty pro.

Three hundred Godard-like smashcuts and text bombs later, it's apparently the second coming of Animechrist because it's on like it's fifth or sixth iteration which is unheard of for a series like this.

Also apparently the commentaries are written in character, making them canon.
>>
big fat cat tats
>>
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>>101593343
This fucking guy.
>>
How bad was Horriblesubs for Monogatari Series: Second Season? I downloaded commie's release, but my tablet can't play it without lagging a bit on the subs for the signs and colored screens that flash for a split second.
>>
>nekomonogatari
>not from Ararararararagi's perspective
DROPPED
>>
>>101602862
Horrible.
>>
>>101603162
Honestly the parts with Araragi narrating were the weakest parts of second season to me, and I really like Araragi.
>>
>>101603643
It's as if they didn't know that people watch this for Naryaragi's pervertedness.
Take that away and you have NOTHING.
imo
>>
>ITT: People who watched the show pretend not to have watched the show
>>
Best girl is the loli, but she never wins.

>Every harem anime ever
>>
>>101604037
Sounds accurate enough to me
>>
It has different OPs for each character, I don't know about the EDs. People call it a pretentious Powerpoint slideshow with nice fanservice and deep plot. The characters are actually monsters (Bakemono, duh), like crabs, snails, vampires and cats with big tits. /a/ seems to be extremely homosexual for Arararararagi. Also, something happened with a white medusa? I remember seeing lots of threads before fall season ended.
>>
>>101595444
>or her fans are pretty vocal about he

Yeah.
>>
It tries to be deep but fails.
>>
>>101596968
Made me laugh.
>>
>>101601014
>Three hundred Godard-like smashcuts and text bombs later

wwwww
>>
There's a vampire MC who has a harem of girls he can't fuck because it would kill them. Because the animation turns into a powerpoint slide at times, the characters have to tilt their neck to let viewers know they are still alive. Every girl turns into the worst girl throughout the show as the MC tries helping them, without success.
>>
>>101593057
vampires and lolis and architecture
also oral hygiene

protagonists are trying to complete the Summer Triangle to save the world? (Sorry, I found the end credits more interesting than the actual show.)
>>
That tooth brushing scene really is the most popular thing from this anime, huh?
>>
>>101605955
It's pretty much what made me watch it. My dick was controlling me at the time
>>
Cute vampires doing cute things
>>
>>101595298
Either way you are stupid as fuck. You are using shitty labels to determine the worth of an entire show. It's like not watching Eva because it has robots and you think everything that has robots is bad.
>>
Some chick is named Crab.She's also best girl. There's a blonde loli vampire who's 600 years old? She's blonde. Apparently she wins in the end? She makes out with some arrarararagi kun guy in a bathtub. He also likes brushing his sister's teeth. Her little hair accessory that looks like an egg is supposed to represent fertility. Crab, I think, can hold like scissors and notebooks and all that shit under her skirt. I mean that makes no sense, but whatever.
>>
>>101593057
An ex-vampire fucks his little sister and has a harem and it's not shit because it's lel such parody very plot.
>>
>>101608280
Oh, and there's a split-second cut where you see the blonde loli's skirt fly up and she has a plaster over her bits and the guy who recommended it to me wouldn't stop ranting about how it was a sign of a true anime. I wish I was fucking joking.
>>
>>101596632
Episode 12 exists, as much as you like cat or snake you can't ignore it.
>>
>>101599972
Stop being such a smartass, hell haven't you seen sin city
>>
some guy who looks generic as fuck gets his ass beat by a bunch of monsters all the time while harem stuff happens

there's also a blonde loli whos pretty cute but the girl with twintails and the fang is obviously best girl
>>
Lots of words. Lots of still frames. The MC is a rapist pedophile. There are lots of girls in the series, but everyone who watches it seems to be gay because they all like some Kaiki dude the most.
>>
>>101593343
A tree? Where the hell'd that come from?
>>
>>101609574
Probably the abandoned cram school that has that massive tree growing through it.
>>
This was fun /a/, good job.



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