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You can only have one

- Unlimited footjobs from Rika

- The Kaiji narrator will narrate your life whenever you choose to. The Kaiji OST will also be included.

"Mark falls into the abyss! The milk carton of fate is empty! What will happen?!"
>>
kaiji narrator fuck yeah
>>
If I can go no farther than a foot job with Rika, then Kaiji narrator.
>>
if unlimited footjobs from rika is a for life thing, then definately choice 1
>>
Kaiji narrator.
No contest.
>>
Can't I combine the two and get unlimited footjobs from the Kaiji narrator?
>>
Can I have Rika narrating my life while I get footjobs from Kaiji?
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FUUUUCK decisions decisions.
>>
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I'd have to go with the Kaiji narrator on this one.
>>
Can I narrate me giving myself a footjob?

Oh wait, I can.
>>
Fuck, the best thing ever would be the Kaiji narrator narrating Rika footjobs
>>
Kaiji narrator.

My life would finally be epic.
>>
>>10116202
>>10116203
Hive mind?
>>
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

can I have both?
>>
rika's footjobs
>>
I've always wanted someone to narrate my life.

Just as long as he doesn't keep calling me Mark.
>>
>>10116225
THIS
>>
rika rika rika rika rika rika rika r...o shit im getting turned on already
>>
Unlimited footjobs with Rika, and Hanyuu will be AUAUAUing in the background as commentary.
>>
Footjobs. I don't....watch Kaiji...
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Is your name Mark? do you want to come over my house to play? :D

Now about that footjob...
>>
>>10116225

...Someone write something

A story. Anything.
>>
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Have to go with Kaiji narrarator. Its fucking Kenpachi damnit
>>
> Unlimited footjobs from Rika

I haven't watched Kaiji, so I don't know what I'm missing. I'm pretty sure I'd regret turning down unlimited Rika footjobs though.
>>
Kaiji Narrator.
It would make my life a decent 6 part OVA.
>>
The Kaiji narrator is Motherfucking Gendo Ikari, in case you didn't know.
>>
Kaiji Narrator. Then I will find a girl like Rika and get footjobs from her, complete with Kaiji narration.
>>
This isn't even a decision. Kaiji narrator easily. But only if other people can hear the narration.
>>
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Kaiji and this is how everyone would feel seeing my amazing-ness.
>>
>>10116222

Impressive if you can give yourself a footjob.
>>
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

THIS CHOICE SHOULD NOT BE SO HARD.
>>
Unlimited footjobs

I don't even have to use my hand everyday!!
>>
Can he narrate in english or am I going to hear voices in my head in a language I don't understand?
>>
Fuck...
Well, If I take Rika, I might get horribly killed + time looped over and over again, and If I take the narrator... Well, he'll just narrate.

Its hard to choose.
>>
>>10116162
KAIJI NARRATOR AND OST.

I LISTEN TO THE OST WHEN I GO ABOUT MY DAILY LIFE.
>>
>>10116162
Kaiji Narrator >>>>>>>>>>>>> Footjobs.
>>
Kaiji narrator AND OST?! FUCK YES!
>>
>>10116312
>or am I going to hear voices in my head in a language I don't understand?

I'm gonna have to go with the footjobs in that case, since I have that already.
>>
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Who would you rather narrate your life, Fumihiko Tasaki or Norio Wakamoto?
>>
Question, do I also get zawa zawa in the background if I choose the narrator?
>>
IN A WORLD WITHOUT UNLIMITED FOOTJOBS FROM RIKA, ONE MAN STANDS AGAINST ALL TO FIGHT BACK AND TAKE WHAT BELONGS TO HIM
>>
...this is stupid if she's willing to give you a foot job ill just jam it in are you guys fucking stupid? hell ill make her narrate my life clinging onto me + ulimited foot jobs...
you must be gay to choose otherwise
>>
>>10116162
UNLIMITED RIKA FOOT WORKS
>>
>>10116162
Yes, Gendo Ikari narrating my boring mundane life would be SO exciting.

>>10116349
Fumihiko Tachiki
>>
>>10116312
come with subtitles
>>
Rika, as awesome as the Kaiji narrator is.
>>
>>10116359

Yes

zawa
>>
>>10116349
oh damn, who could choose
>>
>>10116363
You sir, have not watched Kaiji or listened to the OST.

Ergo, I must conclude that you are in fact, the faggot.
>>
WHY WOULD YOU WANT A NARRATION FOR YOUR SILLY BORED FUCK LIFE??
>>
I'd have my life narrated by Peter fucking Cullen.
>>
>>10116162
>- The Kaiji narrator will narrate your life whenever you choose to. The Kaiji OST will also be included.

Hah! I already get that! Funny, the voice is Japanese and different every time, so I don't understand it very well. It's hard without subs, but I can tell it's very epic. Sometimes when I open the fridge...it's kinda garbled, but it's back to normal when I close it.

...Maybe I should seek help.
>>
Unless I get all of Rika's body, narrator all the way.
>>
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>>10116349
Norio Wakamoto. That way, even if life gets boring, I can always have an insane "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEENNNNNNNNNNNN" to cheer me up again.
>>
Kaiji narrator of course, but the thought of the narrator throwing around metaphors and and building suspense while I was getting a footjob from Rika would allow me to die a happy man.
>>
>>10116393
BECAUSE NARRATORS MAKE THINGS AWESOME.

UNLESS THEY'RE THE DEKARANGER NARRATOR, BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY.
>>
>>10116389
OH FUCK YES.

Kaiji narrator then.
>>
If the Kaiji narrator can make my life sound interesting then sure
but if its 12 hours of him saying that im pressing F5 and masturbating then im going with a footjob
>>
>>10116429

Mollusk lol
>>
Narrator.
>>
I prefer Akagi's narrator
>>
>>10116349
Damn it. This is a harder choice than footjobs or narration.

I think I would end up going Wakamoto, though.
>>
Kaiji narrator
>>
>>10116349
Fumihiko Tachiki. Wakamoto is better for characters rather than narrating.
With him narrating everything I do all I'd play is card games and board games such as jenga.
>>
>>10116436
TRUTH. I MEAN COME ON, WHO WOULDN'T WANT SOMEBODY GOING:

"THEN SUDDENLY, AS HE SAT ON THE TOILET SEAT, A RELEVATION CAME TO HIM. IF HE EATS AND FAPS AT THE SAME TIME, HE'LL BE ABLE TO DO BOTH TWICE AS OFTEN!"
>>
ONE LONELY MAN REACHES THE POINT OF DESPERATION. HIS VIRGINITY PUSHES HIM TO THE LIMITS OF HIS SANITY. WITH HIS SISTER'S PANTIES IN HAND, HE CAN FIND SANCTUARY IN THE INDULGENCE OF CARDINAL SIN.
>>
If Kaiji's narrator won't work for me if I get Rika, I don't need him. I'll carry a boombox with the Kaiji OST and make Hanyuu try her best to imitate his narration while I have my first physical contact with a girl in years.
>>
Anon was presented with a choice. Rika footjobs or Kaiji narration. The burden of this choice felt like ten-thousand men staring at him. The pressure was overwhelming.

If Anon chose poorly, it would be fatal. He would live the rest of his life in regret, wondering what the other choice would be like.

But both choices seemed equally great. Anon could not think clearly when he imagined what they would be like. It was as if two angels were talking on the phone to him at once; he could not even tell who said what, and there was no chance he could think clearly.

Anon had to make a choice with his gut.
>>
BTW: Kaiji narrator = Kasai from Higurashi = Gendou from... Oh well, you know where he's from
>>
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You guys are all fags.
>>
Not into footjobs. I would pick the narrator if I was able to turn him off or if I got a soundtrack with it.
>>
Line of light playing 24/7
>>
>>10116490
Oh god I burst out laughing at 5 AM
>>
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>>10116464
Sure you do!
>>
>make Hanyuu try her best to imitate his narration

You'd be hearing "auauau"s all the time
>>
/a/, here's some motivation. Practice your epic writing and voice acting so you can narrate your own stuff. Even if you can only do it perfectly in your head, you can have it in real life.

As for Rika footjobs, not sure if it's possible to get a girl that young.
>>
>>10116518
HAY SLOWPOKE
>>
with a narrator like Fumihiko Tasaki, lolis will be all over you
>>
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>>10116518
We can always get our footjobs elsewhere.
>>
>>10116512
ZAWA ZAWA
>>
>>10116540
...Good point.
>>
Anon was surprised at the news he heard. News which erupted all over the message board like a demon leaping out of a volcano. He just absolutely had to watch the video that was linked in the post.

He double clicked. But little did he know, these two simple clicks would change his entire day...
>>
>>10116540
"SUDDENLY, IN THIS LONELY CLASSROOM. HE HAD AN ILLUMINATION! HE HAS TO SET HIMSELF LIKE THE ACTOR OF THE STAGE OF HIS LIFE! TO DO SO, HE'LL NARRATE EVERYTHING!!

BUT UNFORTUNATELY. SHAME GREW ON HIM WHEN HE SAID IT ALLOUD. IT WAS TOO LATE. THE WORDS WERE IN THE AIR. EVERYONE LOOKED AT HIM LIKE A PARIAH!!

THE CREVICE OF DISCONSIDERATION WAS JUST IN FRONT OF HIM AND THE DEVIL POKE HIM WITH HIS FORK FOR HIM TO JUMP IN THE LONELINESS HELL!"
>>
>>10116632
Oh fuck that. I'm not going to have Kaiji's narrator narrate my narration
>>
Definately the Kaiji narrator. Though, having sex narrated would be interesting...
>>
>>10116641
As the video came on the screen, Anon's jaw dropped. The video seemed to reach out from the computer screen and grab him by the neck.

Anon was paralyzed. The video was not the news he had expected, for it was in reality a troll hiding behind a fake news story! Little had Anon expected, the message board was filled to the brim with demons disguised as normal people who sought to ruin people's days!
>>
>>10116641
What was that?

What kind of treason could justify that?

Rage built in his head! Why was that red-headed 80's singer on the screen, like if mocking him as a devil for even thinking that it was not a rickroll!?

Critical judgement!!
>>
>>10116677
(Zawa Zawa...)

Indeed, what had seemed safe and innocent was just a trap set by a demonic troll! Anon stopped the video in a matter of seconds, but the damage was already done!

No more could Anon calmly browse his message boards. Now, he would forever be afraid of the demons hiding around every corner!
>>
>>10116641
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3Uc4tM48Lc
>>
cannot have enough ZAWA ZAWA
>>
THIS THREAD IS FUCKING AWESOME
>>
>>10116530

> You'd be hearing "auauau"s all the time

This is more than acceptable. I already chose Rika footjobs, but if Hanyuu gets thrown in with the deal, then I'm laughing.
>>
>>10116717
A song from the heavens poured into his ears! Imagines of the genius that descended into darkness had him completely paralyzed. The amount of awesome contained in the video was beyond all levels of reason.
>>
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F5 F5 F5 F5!
>>
auuZAWA
>>
>>10116753

MIND ASPLODED!!
>>
Requesting archive
>>
Cole misses the delete key and submits his post by accident!

A fatal mistake!!!

Will Anonymous notice the mistake and capitalize on it?!

zawa zawa
>>
>>10116753
Zauuuwa?
>>
I love nighttime /a/.
>>
Anon prepared himself for what was coming. The amount of brick-shitting he was prepared for was enough to build a mansion.

He knew he would be in for the ride of his life as he watched the OP. It seemed a little too pleasant and calm for the image of the show that he had in his mind, but it was quite nice to listen to. The singer definitely had talent, listening to him sing "NANTOKANAREEEE" was quite-

And then it hit Anon like a giant eagle soaring out of the sky. Caught off-guard, there was nothing Anon could do but shit bricks.
>>
>Fuck, the best thing ever would be the Kaiji narrator narrating Rika footjobs
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS
>>
.... fuck you guys, I changed my mind. I want the narrator too.

I'm actually choosing a narrator over loli footjobs. LOLI FOOTJOBS.
>>
>>10116877
What he yearned so much for was in the front of him! Oyashiro's representant on earth was taking off her socks!

Extreme excitation!!!
>>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-wEbM0GcKI

"IT WAS OVER! Kaiji has lost the game of E-Card! he screamed in agony as he heard the drill begin its final rotation, bringing his life to a sorrowful, torturous end!"
>>
>>10116924

What?

No, socks on.
>>
>>10116934

Defeat at the 1:25 mark is so fucking epic it makes you want to punch mirrors
>>
After 3 months of work, the installer was tested and done. However, one crucial step remained! He must upload it safely to the servers. Everything seemed to be going fine, until disaster stuck!
>>
Yes, socks are superior
>>
>>10116972

ABSOLUTE DESPAIR. He was backed into a corner with no way out.
>>
>Archival process triggered.
>>
>>10116972

ZAWA ZAWA

"I-i don't know which button to press!"

A predicament! One wrong press and the entire project could be destroyed! What will Message do?

ZAWA-ZAWA
>>
>>10116972
Why?
Why?
As if the ground on which he standed before collapsed!

The downfall from his temporary paradise was hard!!

The dancing devils mocked him on the screen!

Absolute despair!!
>>
Am I the only one who wants the Narrator for the OST?

I mean, holy fuck, how epic would that be?

"Anonymous is left facing a crucial decision! Does he post or continue to lurk? The blood pounds in his ears as that critical moment approaches!

ZAWA ZAWA

Then...!"

-Wish- starts to play

"At that final moment, Anonymous posts! His decision is one of life and death, and by a slim margin, he chooses the path toward life!"
>>
>>10117048
>>10117009
>>10117000

Message stared in horror at the window that had appeared:

"'Are you sure you want to delete UBW_installer_Rev63'? What the hell does that mean?!?"

Message has two choices! Yes or no!; which will he pick?
>>
>>10117104

While in the depths of despair, an idea!

"I can ask the internet what to do!"

But how will Message know if the internet can be trusted? Message knows that many people resent the installer for its perfection and wish to destroy it; will the text he sees be enough to read into the mindset of these people?
>>
I can't decide between Gendou or Amuro.
>>
Narrator FTW. Archive away.
>>
Why did this thread suddenly die?
>>
>>10117303
Because everyone's reading the other narrator thread with the Jenga
>>
>>10117303
Anon ran out of narrative creativity
>>
>>10117303

Anon turns back into a real person at midnight
>>
>>10117303

Nigger, Dubnote is starting shhh!!
>>
>>10117340
I started the Message thing, but I don't actually know the Narrator's style to keep going. He deletes root in the end, ultimate despair, gods of the internet against him, etc.
>>
>>10117303
Anoynmous is too busy being captivated by its sheer brilliance.
>>
>>10117376

KIRA HESITATES. DOUBT IS CIRCLING AROUND HIM LIKE A DEMON FROM HELL. HE KNOWS THE REPORTER MUST DIE BUT WHAT IS THIS FEELING LIKE THE SMELL OF DEATH?
>>
I'd rather have the Hayate narrator.
>>
Would the narrator keep talking even when I'm trying to sleep? Because that would get annoying pretty fast.

I'm going with Rika, as she's the incarnation of sex.
>>
>>Thread 10116162 has already been archived.

Good work, gentlemen!
>>
Can't I just have one dramatically narrated footjob?
>>
Would I get to kiss Rika?
>>
>>10119618

It could always be like Peter having his own background music in Family Guy. It was off when he was asleep.
>>
I would pick the Narrator in a heartbeat.
>>
If the Kaiji narrator could make other people excited about my life I could maybe get footjobs from other people.

But until then, I'll have to go with Rika. Tough decision, but it's Rika.
>>
>>10119618
Probably not. He'd speak quietly if you were asleep, I'm sure.

I'd welcome them into my dreams though, how awesome would that be? I'd have Akagi teach me how to play mahjong.
>>
Narrator, no doubt.
>>
>>10119732
>I'd have Akagi teach me how to play mahjong.
All I could think of was anal sex when I read this line
>>
>>10119732
>I'd have Akagi teach me how to play mahjong.
YOU'D BE PLAYING RIGHT INTO HIS HANDS.

PREPARE FOR A BAD END IN YOUR DREAM.



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