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Just finished my animation, I was tacked with making a animation in the Fevela, Rio. this is what I made, feel free to be harsh, niceness helps no one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIsO2POQvuM&feature=youtu.be
thanks to anyone who helped me out in the WIP threads you guys where helpful. and I'm aware of the flicking vase but unfortunately didn't have time to re-render it.
You are trying to show too much without focusing on anything in all the non Jesus shots. And I have no idea why you show a fancier house at the end.
Yeah, that makes sense. In any non-jesus shot I'm usaly trying to present the room to show off the character of it.

If you don't want to I'll just tell you but I'd like it if you took a guess at the narrative of the animation and why that second building is there. Would that be okay?
The narrative is the kid got a fancy house when he grew up? I saw an earlier post you made about this, I wouldn't of noticed the kid stuff had you not pointed it out in that post though. Still very convoluted because of the bad staging.
I can see how you came to that, that's something i need to work on in my next project, it's very difficult to tell a native though a static environment.

The narative is a little deeper then that. It's about a father and his daughter living in a fevela with his recently deceased wife (wall photos). The statue on the windowsil; a cheep imitation of the real thing proudly presented for all to see. The fevela cramped, worn, and broken but warm and full of character dispite people's prejudiced towards the fevela.

The posh modern villa, cold, and and unused. With the real Christ the redeemer in the background, merely a trinket sign of wealth.

The animation was showcasing the juxtaposition between favela life and millionaires who lives there.
Wtf lmao I never would have guessed any of that. It just looks like a camera panning around an environment you bought over and over again with Jesus in the background for no reason.
You need to focus on relevant objects, not show off everything in your scene, I can barely see the photographs for example. You can't expect the audience to search around your scene for a story in the span of a short camera pan. It has to be super obvious.
not that anon but i figured it was something like this.

maybe adding some more clues to that would help because it just looks like model showcase rather than a story

overall decent work, camera moment needs a lot of work very basic.

personally i would have added characters even if static

and last not, maybe some subtle classy music for the high class apartment instead of ambiance
Are there any shots in perticuler you'd recommend? Some of the shots and there meaning that are in there at the moment: backwards pan: tricks viewer into thinking the statue is the real thing for a moment. Shows off entire scean for staging reasons. Drawing book shot: let's the viewer know about a child of a small age living there, shoes in the background, 2 adult 1 child. Kitchen stove cam: kitchen is well used someone isn't too far away (warmth). Sideways pan: mattress against wall no longer needed. Photos on wall lots of the kid, few of the dad, 1 of the mum. Shrine-like plaque, unlit candles. Toys on the ground, recycled rubish for toys and 1 real toy, a bi-plane.

Match cut

Pan across villa: establishing shot of apartment. Fireplace shot: no one there, 8 chairs total, all unused. Fireplace off, wind and gulls muted (cold). Whisky shot: whisky lest where it was with no one around. Final shot: one last look at the statue before finishing to connect the start and the end.

Sorry for the long wall, I get that the story is a little full of itself, but I really tried to pump it with character and meaning, Can you think of a few cameras that may help with the story? Keep in mind I was restricted to 60-90 seconds and renders 75s of footage.

I'd like to of added a character, but to be blunt i suck at making them and it would have taken me a lot longer to make a character plus two environments. What sort of basic camera movement are you taking about? The classical music was something I was considering, but in the end opted for the ambiance butcause it's more unerving and unatral, it usaly throws people off more just as the chorus is about to hit.

Thanks for the feedback guys, I really do appreciate it.
it doesn't need to be a complex good looking character, you could have had them not fully seen, like a child under a blanket with just the back of the head and the same thing with a person in the high class.

just basic panning left and right/zoom in. add some swivel, left right pan -> zoom, have less cuts.

ambiance does the opposite imo, it felt more calm. maybe have it go down then have the classic slow fade in, idk its up to you really.
Thanks, I'll try to keep that in mind for the next project. I need to watch a few more videos on cinematography.

id suggest watching this guys, fantastic film buffs that'll expand your film knowledge
Channels like these are really good, thanks for the link. I'm subed to a few more for any one else:


My only problem with these are they themselves to focused on characters, but because I'm an environment artist it can be sometimes hard to apply the lesson to my work, don't suppose anyone has a link to a cinematography video not focused on characters?
well the thing is it's almost always about the characters, the only thing i can imagine when its not is nature documentaries or how to videos haha

you can try looking up videos on artists who already in the industry and see how their thought process is.
The narrative is lost but the general message is very obvious. The narrative is fine just because a description of the piece for anybody interested enough to read it. At the end of the day the intent of the project is to create visuals not tell a story, so it would be pointless to force that narrative into the scene further than what you've done.

The lack of motion blur on the fan is really obvious, and the flame on the stove could use a colour gradient so it isn't just solid blue.
*The narrative is fine just being...
The entire animation has a little motion blur but had to turn it down a lot bacause it started looking like slowmotion, I wanted to mask a motion blur to the fan but i was having issues with the render elements, that's why there's no depth of field too; I renders a z-depth as an .exr but AfterEffects crashes when you use render elements as masks, no idea why.

In hindsight i wish i had done more with that gas flame, varying colour, bloom, .ect but i guess i just forgot.

Thanks man, that's a good idea.

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